Big Time Gay One
by LoveIsAJokeWithNoPunchline
Summary: When Griffin decides Big Time Rush needs a gay guy, James realizes something about himself that he never knew before. SLASH! James/Kendall and Logan/Carlos
1. Big Time Prolouge

Okay, just to warn ya'll ahead of time, I am very bad on updates, but I'll try my hardest. The more reviews I get, the more likely I am to update.

Disclaimer: I totally own Big Time Rush, in fact, they're all tied up in my closet right now….I mean no. Of course I don't own them. There is no reason to alert the authorities.

**Big Time Gay One**

Gustavo was not happy. Not that he was normally happy or anything like that, but at this moment he was really not happy. He had just gotten yet another call from Griffin about, yet another thing to change about Big Time Rush. He was getting sick of it. They were his dogs. He was the one who was going to train them into greatness_ not _Griffin.

"Attention Dogs." Gustavo said, as they arrived for dance practice early that Saturday morning. "Apparently Griffin thinks the band is missing something. Guess what it is this time."

"A Monkey?" Carlos asked

"No."

"Sexy Backup dancers?" James replied.

"No."

"A leading role in a hit medical drama?" Logan looked hopeful.

"No."

"A girl, who is a relative of you, whose not only extremely attractive but is extremely talented at singing and dancing, that all of us will fall in love with and help us with our wild and crazy antics, but she secretly has a dark past that we won't find out about until later?" Kendall asked.

"Where did you come up with that?" Gustavo asked.

Kendall shrugged.

"Well you're all wrong. Griffin has decided that the band needs a gay guy. He said that we need to keep up with the times. Apparently teen girls love this thing call Yay-Oh-Ey [[A/N Yaoi]]. So guess who I've decided is going to be gay."

All four boys opened their mouths to speak.

"Wait! I'll just tell you. James." He pointed to James

"What me?" James asked franticly. "Why me?"

"Well, Kendall's the leader, Logan's the smart one, and Carlos is the childish one, so you needed something as well." Gustavo said.

"I was hoping I could be the one with the great abs." James lifted up his shirt.

"No, besides, you spend more time fussing with your hair then any other person I've ever met in my life."

James looked to his friends for help.

"Sorry dude, but he's right." Kendall said. The other two shook their heads in agreement.

"I hate all of you. You will be hearing from my attorney!" He shouted.

"James, you don't have an attorney." Logan said.

"Then you will be hearing from Camille dressed up like my attorney!" And with that James walked angrily out of the room slamming the door behind him.

"I think he took that surprisingly well." Carlos said.

"Whatever, he's gonna have to deal. Get him back here in 5 minutes for practice."

"I'll go," Kendall offered. He jogged out of the room to find James.

"I'm not gay." James mumbled stubbornly to Kendall as he saw him walk up. James was sitting on a bench outside, the cool breeze every so often blowing gently. "I like having nice hair, but I'm not gay."

"I know," Kendall sat down beside him.

"I mean, so what if I comment on another guys shoes, or think a guy looks mildly attractive in a particular shirt, or kissed Bobby Jones on a dare. That doesn't make me gay." James huffed out before realizing that all of those things probably made him sound really gay.

"Of course not. Now let's get to practice." Kendall through an arm around James's shoulder.

James couldn't help but notice how muscular his friend's arms were. James blushed and thought, "Maybe I am."

A/N: Okay, I really don't know what paring I'm going for yet. So choose. James/Logan or James/Kendall. Let me get some votes, and maybe some ideas if you have any. =]

~Love


	2. Big Time Heart to Heart

Okay, let me start by saying wow! And thanks to everyone who reviewed. I didn't expect this many, but it really encouraged me to update.

Disclaimer: Read chapter one, I'm too lazy to retype it, but somehow I'm not lazy enough to type all of this…hmm, very odd indeed.

**Big Time Gay One**

"No," James assured himself in his head. He was not gay, he couldn't be. He likes girls. He likes girls' boobs. Boys, such as Kendall, do not have boobs.

"Don't worry, James," Kendall said, noticing his friend deep in thought. "Being gay isn't a bad thing. I mean sure, there are a lot of homophobic assholes out there, but it's definitely not a bad thing. At least, I don't think it is."

Kendall didn't understand why he was babbling. He was just trying to let James know that he was there for him.

"I'm just wondering, how far to I have to take this gay thing. I mean, do I have to wear pink? I would not be cool with that, pink is a spring color, and I'm most definitely a fall or winter. I could do the whole limp wrist movement thing. That wouldn't take much work. What if they want me to kiss a guy? Would they hire a guy to do it? Would people take pictures? What if it's someone I don't even know? I don't want to give my first kiss to a stranger with a bunch of people around to watch. That would be a horrible way to lose your first kiss. I know I kissed that one guy on a dare, but we decided that didn't count because it was only for like, three seconds." James was now panicking.

"James, calm down." Kendall said, grabbing both his shoulders. "Just take a deep breath."

James did so, and then released it slowly.

"Much better," Kendall said. "And don't worry. You'll have your first kiss before they make some random guy kiss you. I'll make sure of it."

James would've said that his heart had skipped a beat as he stared at Kendall's smile, but that would mean he was in love with his best friend, which he was not. Right?

James was distracted for all of rehearsal. He kept falling down during dance. His voice kept cracking during recording. And probably ran into just about ever wall in the building. By lunch time, the guys were getting worried.

Carlos walked over to him and places his helmet on James's head.

"What's this for?" James asked.

"I don't want you to get brain damage." He stated simply, while drinking his Sunny D.

"Oh, I guess I am a little out of it today."

"That's understandable. I guess we all would if we were in your position." Carlos told him.

"I just don't know how to take this. I have nothing wrong with gays, but earlier, when Kendall put his arm around me I-" James stopped talking.

"You what?"

"Nothing, forget I said anything." James said, awkwardly.

"Are you thinking you might be gay?"

"No," He snapped back a little too quickly.

"It's cool if you are. There's a chance I might be. Gayness runs in my family." Carlos said.

"Really?" James asked, wondering why he never heard this before.

"Yeah, my uncle's gay. And you remember my brother Maurice?"

"Yeah, he's gay?"

"Sort of, he lives in Chicago and goes by the name of Maria." Carlos said with a goofy grin on his face.

"No way, and you think you might be gay too?"

"I don't know yet. I guess I'll find out." He said cheerfully. "Hey Logan, wait up."

James sighed. Was he gay, or not? He couldn't decide. He felt so confused. If only there was someway he could know for sure. Then it came to him.

He walked up to his three friends.

"Guys, I've decided that I don't want any possibility of loosing my first kiss to a stranger. So I need one of you to kiss me."

A/N Dun, Dun DUUUUH!!! Okay, so who should he kiss? I've decided that it's going to be James/Kendall, but that doesn't mean he has to kiss Kendall first. So make your choice.

Kendall

Logan

Carlos

Let me know, and please give me any ideas you might have.


	3. Big Time Kiss

Thank you everyone who had reviewed so far. I love you all so much. Really I do. I might have to kidnap you and hide you in the closet with the rest of Big Time Rush.

Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush, blah blah blah.

"What?" Logan managed to choke out.

"I want, no, I need one of you to kiss me." James repeated

"Okay." Carlos said.

"Wait!" Kendall grabbed Carlos's shoulder as he began to walk forward. "You don't have to do that."

"Yes I do." Carlos responded. "His lip-ginity is at risk."

"Lip-ginity?" Logan questioned, mainly to himself.

"But-but it's Carlos's first kiss too. You guys can't really throw those away." Kendall said.

"I don't mind. It's about time I got it out of the way." Carlos said.

"Yeah, it would be good for both of us." James agreed.

"But you don't want to kiss Carlos." Kendall said.

"Hey! What's wrong with wanting to kiss Carlos?" Logan asked.

"Nothing, I'm just saying that Carlos may not be the best choice for James's first kiss." Kendall replied.

"Oh, and James is a good choice for Carlos's?"

"Carlos is lucky to be kissing James."

"James is lucky to be kissing Carlos."

The other two boys had no idea of the fight currently going on beside them. Carlos had his lips firmly planted on James's, working them slowly together. Their fingers slowly entertwined at their sides.

Carlos gently nibbled and James bottom lip, as if to ask for entrance, which was soon granted.

Their tongue dances over each other, Carlos the more confident one, while James shyly played along.

James heart was beating rapidly. He couldn't believe that he found himself enjoying the sensation of another boy's lips on his. Carlos's lips were ruff and slightly chapped. His tongue was strong and dominate. James was loving it, but something was off. Not because Carlos was a boy, but because he was…Carlos. It just didn't seem to fit. James imagined Kendall in Carlos's place.

Carlos was enjoying it as well. James lips tasted like cotton candy. It must be the 'chap stick' that James is constantly putting on. He had to remember to tease him for it later. Even though Carlos was much shorter (he had to stand on the balls of his feet to reach James) he knew that he was the one in control.

He let go of James's soft hand (must be lotion) in order to grip his hips.

James let out a soft moan, almost letting Kendall's name fall past his lips.

This causes the other two boys to stop their fight and look over at their friends.

Kendall felt something fill the pit of his stomach, but he couldn't quite make out what it was. It kind of felt like jealousy, but why would he feel that. He didn't like Carlos or James in that way. It was probably just disgust. Who would want to see their two male friends kissing anyways? That's just wrong, and unnatural.

Logan felt his entire face heat up, but it wasn't because his friends were kissing, it was because of what his friends' kissing was doing to him. He couldn't be enjoying this, could he? Okay, so maybe he had read a couple of thing on the internet involving gay relationships. It wasn't like that's what he spent all of his time online doing. He had only read enough to know that Gustavo had pronounced yaoi wrong. He didn't read it for pleasure, only curiosity. Which, boys like him were aloud to feel.

Kendall cleared his throat loudly and the kissing couple pulled apart.

"We should probably head back to the recording studio." Kendall said, sounding slightly irritated.

"Yeah," Carlos and James mumbled back, blushing.

The group headed out. Kendall was angry for reason he could not figure out and Logan really wanted to read more yaoi to quite the visions in his head of Carlos and James.

Carlos and James hung a bit behind the others.

"So are you gay?" James asked.

"Yeah," Carlos replied. "Are you?"

James didn't reply. He only shrugged and put his hands in his pockets.

A/N Okay, Chapter 3. What did you think? I have a couple ideas that I'm playing around with in my head for this story at the moment. So I need your opinion.

Should I add Carlos/Logan in that story as well as a side pairing?

And should I through someone in to be James "partner" and make Kendall even more jealous?

Also, is anyone interested in doing Big Time Rush role plays? I'm a member of an awesome rp site. I've almost been a member for a whole year now. And it's not just BTR it's a lot of different things, mainly South Park. Anyways, none of my friends on there know anything about BTR so I'm desperately searching for someone who wants to do it with me. Here's the site if you're interested. [[Take out the spaces.]]

http : // slashluvsyoubiatch . proboards . com / index . cgi

My user name on there is Mrs. Snape, I hope you join, it's a lot of fun!


	4. Big Time News

Hello people! I watched the new episode of Big Time Rush today and just had to update. Plus I've gotten several reviews, and that keeps me majorly motivated. So I would like to say thanks to all of those who have sent in reviews and your thoughts and feelings. Ideas are always helpful. So please, keep them coming. I also have to inform you that updates may not be coming as fast as they currently are for several reasons. The biggest reason is because spring break is regretfully over where I live. So that means back to school for me. Also because I have read every BTR slash fic this site has to offerer. Yes, I know, I have no life. So to keep me motivated and wanting to write, please review as often as possible and write more stories, and or update current ones you are working on. Thank you, now I think I've talked enough.

Disclaimer: I don't own nothing.

To put it simply, rehearsal was hell. Not only was it long and hard as always, but Kendall seemed to be ready to snap at any moment. It was obvious that he was trying not to show it, but Kendall was angry.

The boys returned home to their apartment and were instantly greeted by the smell of hamburgers.

"Hey boys, dinner's almost ready." Mrs. Knight said cheerfully from here place in the kitchen

"Thanks." They replied.

"I think I need some fresh air." James said, fanning himself gently.

He walked out onto the balcony. People were still down at the pool below him, despite the fact that the sun was quickly setting. He breathed in deeply, taking in the sent of chlorine.

"Hey," a voice greeted, coming outside as well.

"Hey Carlos," James smiled as his friend came and stood beside him.

They both stood there for a while, no one saying anything, not even when Carlos allowed his hand to slide over James's and their fingers interlocked.

James looked down at Carlos, whose face wasn't in its normal splitting grin, but a shy innocent smile. James smiled back, blushing just slightly. Then their lips met for a second time that day.

This kiss was much more innocent then the previous one. It was also much shorter. James pulled back, only about half a minute after the kiss began.

"I'm sorry Carlos, I can't do this. It's not me it's you." James explained.

Carlos raised an eyebrow. "Is that supposed to be the other way around?"

"No, what I mean is. You're cool, and hot, and a hell of a kisser. I mean honestly, that couldn't have been your first kiss. That was much better then any of the girls I've ever kissed before. And believe me, I've kiss a lot of them."

Carlos cleared his throat as if to tell James to get back to the point.

"I digress, there's nothing wrong with you. You're just not the right person for me. It feels off, like kiss my brother or something."

"Thank God." Carlos smiled, and laughed slightly.

"What?" James asked, slightly confused.

"I feel the same way."

"Then why did you kiss me?" James asked.

"You're the one who leaned it first." Carlos countered.

"Well, you held my hand."

"So, I would've done that before." Carlos shrugged.

James smiled, "Yeah, I guess so." He placed an arm around Carlos's shoulders.

"Let's go inside. Dinner should be almost ready and I'm starving."

"You're always starving." James said as they walked inside.

Carlos broke away from James and sat on the couch and hugged onto Logan's arm.

"Logie, I'm bored." Carlos whined, leaning his head on Logan's shoulder.

"Is there something you want me to do about it?" Logan asked, smiling.

"No, just sit with me." Carlos said.

"Okay."

James stole a french fry out of the collonder and popped it in his mouth, crying out slightly as he bit into it and burnt his mouth.

"Careful James, they're hot." Mrs. Knight said smiling.

"Thanks." James said, rolling his eyes.

"Sorry, will you go get Kendall. He's in his room." She said.

"Okay." James walked back to find Kendall.

"Hey," James said, entering.

"Hey," Kendall mumbled back.

"What's up?"

"Nothing."

There was a very awkward silence. It struck James as very odd. Kendall hated awkward silences.

"Well your mom say dinner's ready so-"

"Did you like kissing Carlos?"

"What?" 

"Did you like kissing Carlos?" Kendall repeated, this time slower.

"No." James answered back.

"You sure, because you sure looked like you enjoyed it." Kendall said, looking back out the window.

"Don't worry, I didn't." James lied flawlessly. "Why do you care anyways? I thought you were cool with gay people."

"I am, I'm just not cool with you and Carlos together. It just…seemed weird. I don't know why, but it did."

"I know what you mean." James laughed slightly.

"So you swear you and Carlos won't be going at it like rabbits anytime soon."

"Yes I swear."

"Good, now let's go eat." Kendall said, smiling widely.

Later on that night, James was lounging on the couch with his laptop when he got a new email.

He opened it and read it over quickly. His eyes widened and he stared at the screen in horror.

"What?" Kendall, who was sitting beside him, asked as he noticed his friend's experstion.

This caught the attention of the other boys and they walked over.

James couldn't manage to talk. All he did was stared at the screen.

The other three crowded around.

"Dude, is that Wayne Wayne?" Carlos asked, recognizing the man in the picture. Though it was hard because he was not dress in bad boy attire, but a pink polo and tan slacks.

"Apparently his name is Terrance now." Logan said reading the email. "And he's-" Logan stopped reading there and his face had a similar expretion to James's.

"He's what?" Kendall asked.

"He's my new boyfriend." James said, eye still wide.

And for the first time, ever, in his life, Kendall Knight fainted.

A/N Mwahaha, I'm so evil. Let me know what you think. I would really like ideas on two things.

1 How Logan and Carlos are going to get together. I have a few ideas but I would like a couple others to play around with.

And 2 what odd plans Kendall with try to come up with to get rid of Wayne Wayne…or Terrance…or whatever. You know what I mean.


	5. Big Time Off

Hello once again. It's me, updating once more. I'm going to try to push myself to update at least twice a week, but I'll try as often as possible. I hope you like this, and thanks for all of your sweet reviews. Please keep them coming.

Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush as of this moment. If I did it probably wouldn't be on nick and there'd be much more gayness.

**Big Time Gay One**

The boys were woken up early the next morning by Kendall's mom telling them that they wouldn't have rehearsal for the next few days because Gustavo has the stomach flu. James was happy that he wouldn't have to meet his new boyfriend for a few more days, but he didn't want to think about that at the moment. Instead he did everything possible to try and not think about it.

Soon he learned that not thinking about things made you notice a lot more then you had before. The first thing he noticed was at breakfast.

The boys were gathered around the table eating a nice breakfast of waffles and bacon. Carlos was staring at his now empty plate.

"The only thing I hate about bacon is that it's gone so fast." He sighed and leaned his head on his hand.

"Here" Logan said handing him a piece of bacon from his plate. "You can have mine."

"I don't want to take you food." Carlos insisted.

James tried not to scoff. If it had been anyone else he would've jumped at the opportunity.

"It's fine, really." Logan told him.

"Thanks," Carlos took the bacon and happily kissed Logan on the cheek as a thank you.

Kendall and Logan didn't think anything of it. Carlos just did stuff like that, especially when he was really happy or exited, but James noticed how his lips lingered just a moment or two longer then necessary, or the small slightly shy smile tugging at his lips. It was then that James realized that Carlos was crushing on Logan.

The observation was later reinforced as he noticed how many times Carlos would lay his head on Logan's shoulder, or hug his arm, or casually hold his hand as they were watching tv. Everyone had thought that it was just Carlos being Carlos. James couldn't believe how dumb he was not to notice. He was even beginning to think that Logan liked him back. He would allow all of the friendly touches. Carlos could talk him into doing absolutely anything with out really having to try. He would feed Carlos popcorn, and he would always give Carlos the bodies of the teddy grams, because for some odd reason, unknown to anyone else, Logan only ate the heads. The only problem was that he didn't know if Logan was gay, but he knew Carlos was. He decided that he was going to confront Carlos about it later.

So after dinner that night he walked into the room that Carlos and he shared, not even thinking to knock. It was then that he noticed something else. Carlos's tan is all over.

James blushed and covered his eyes with his hand. It never would've embarrassed him before. He never would even think of looking. It was just the very idea that he had noticed that Carlos's tan was all over for the first time since they had began to share a room together. He felt like slapping himself, and almost forgot the reason he had barged in, in the first place.

He peeked through his fingers. Carlos now had boxers on, so James removed his hand completely.

"You like Logan." He accused.

Carlos blushed a bit. "Is it that obvious?"

"Only to someone who knows that you're gay." James said, sitting on the bed.

"Good, cause I don't want him to know yet."

"Why not? He's going to like you back." James said a matter-of-factly.

"Yeah, I don't know. I don't want to weird out our friendship if he doesn't like me. I don't think I could stand not having him as a friend." Carlos explained.

"Yeah, I know what you mean."

That night James went to sleep with thoughts of Kendall, and an embarrassing problem to take care of in the morning.

Carlos walked down the hall towards their apparment, drinking a cherry icee that he had bought from the 7/11 down the road, when he was pulled into a supply closet.

"Is it Carlos this time?" He heard a voice, that sounded like Logan's whisper.

"Let me check." A different voice said.

Carlos suddenly found himself being shined in the eyes with a flash light.

"Yes, it's Carlos."

Kendall switched on the closet light and Carlos was greeted by the sight of his friends, minus James.

"Hey guys." Carlos said.

"Hello." They replied.

"Why are we in a closet?"

"We have to think of some plan to make sure James and Wayne Wayne-"

"Terrance," Logan corrected.

"Fine, James and Terrance don't get together." Kendall finished.

"Okay," Carlos said understanding things.

"Now I have a plan. We invite him over for dinner, he trips over a wire, causing him to fall into a wheel barrow and out onto the balcony where he will fall out of the wheel barrow, off the balcony and onto a mini trampoline which will bounce him into another wheel barrow that will roll out to the front of the building, dump him in a taxi. That taxi will take him to a train station where the driver will throw him on the train, with his ticket, and send him all the way to Boston." Kendall finished with a triumphant grin.

Logan and Carlos just stared at him.

"Or," Logan said, suddenly getting an idea. "You can confess your love for James and then you can be his boyfriend, and Terrance."

"That's a brilliant plan." Kendall said. "Except for the part that I'm not gay!" Kendall seemed kind of angry.

"I'm gay," Carlos mumbled.

"What?" Logan asked, not fully hearing him.

"I said, I'm gay," He repeated a bit more confidently.

"Okay, then you date James." Kendal said.

"But I don't like James, I like someone else."

Kendall sighed, "Then I guess I'll think of a new plan of getting ride of Terrance."

"You do that." Logan said. "In the mean time, my leg has fallen asleep, so I'm getting out of this closet." He opened the door and began to exit.

"Me too, see you later." Carlos said, leaving as well, and shutting the door behind him.

Carlos and Logan began walking back.

"So, you like someone?" Logan asked.

"Yeah." Carlos said.

"And that someone's a guy?"

"Yeah," Carlos answered.

"Who?" Logan asked.

Carlos smiled slightly and leaned in close to Logan. So close that their noses were touching.

"It's a secret." He whispered before walking into the apartment, leaving Logan standing in the doorway.

A/N Okay, how many of you thought he was going to confess? I considered it and then I said 'No, it's too early for that.' So you'll just have to keep waiting ^_^ Please keep sending me ideas on how Kendall can get rid of Wayne Wayne, or maybe even how Kendall will realize his feelings for James. And let me know if you think I should through in some Camille. Sort of like have her suddenly buddy up with James and Carlos because she always wanted a gay best friend, or something like that.


	6. Big Time Duh

So I had the urge to listen to Half Way There, by Big Time Rush, which in turn gave me the urge to write another chapter. I hope you like it. I would like to thank jakie Q for the wonderful idea Kendall comes up with first.

Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush…yet.

**Big Time Gay One**

Kendall sat on his bed going through plan and writing new ones. There was no way he was going to let James date Terrance, or any other guy for that matter. It just wasn't right. If James was gay, which Kendall wasn't so sure if he was or not, he should be able to pick any boyfriend he wants.

"How does this sound?" Kendall asked a pacing Logan. "We invite Terrance over  
and we have a nice pasta dinner with some apple cider on the side. He will  
then drink the apple cider which will be laced with a Narconal drug that will  
knock him out. Then we get him in his car, filled with all kinds of alchol to  
make it look like he was driving while drunk, push his car over a cliff,  
watch it burn. Then when they do an autopsy, the Narconal will be gone out of  
his body and they will rule it a drunk driving accident and they WE CAN ALL  
LIVE HAPPY EVER AFTER!" Kendall shouted, laughing evilly and his right eye twitching slightly.

Logan stopped pacing and stared at him.

"When's the last time you slept?" Logan asked, eyeing him suspiciously.

"Not since we found out about James's new boyfriend. I've been living off of coffee and doughnut sticks." Kendall explained.

"You should really sleep, but not now because we have some very important issues to deal with."

"I know James can't date Wayne Wayne."

"I'm not talking about James, I'm talking about Carlos. He likes someone, but he won't tell us who."

Kendall gave Logan a look. "Isn't it obvious?"

"No."

"Really? You haven't figured it out yet?" Kendall asked astonished.

"No, you know who it is?"

"Yeah, it couldn't be more obvious. I mean, he's hanging off of him, kissing him, and staring at him with a big lusty 'I'm gonna rape you' look." Kendall said, turning back to his plans.

Logan's eyes widened. How could he have been so stupid? It was in front of his face this entire time and he never noticed it? He felt almost like slapping his self. He was, after all, supposed to be the smart one of the group.

Logan walked out of the room.

"Hey Logan," James smiled at him. He was wearing his bathing suit and a towel slung over his shoulder. "I'm just heading down to the pool. Do you wanna come?" He asked.

Logan slapped him.

James stared at him shocked, rubbing his now swore cheek.

"What was that for?" He asked.

"I hope you and Carlos are happy together." Then he turned on a heel and walked into the living room to drown his sorrows in icky medical shows.

James was slightly confused, but shrugged it off and walked out of the apartment and toward the pool.

"Hey Camille." He greeted his friend in the lobby.

He then received his second smack that day.

"You're gay?!" She shouted rather loudly. "All this time you were gay and you didn't even think of telling me? I though you were supposed to be my friend, maybe even my best friend. How could you keep something like this from me? After all we've been though, all those times I let you cry on my shoulder. I hate you."

James eyes were wide.

"H-how did you know I'm gay?"

"Wait you really are?" She asked.

Then James realized what was going on, it was just another monologue. Of course.

"No, of course not." James continued out to the pool.

Kendall walked into the living room.

"Hey, what was that thing with James?" He asked, sitting by Logan.

"He's dating Carlos." Logan grumbled. "Or at least he will be once he finds out the Carlos likes him."

Kendall stared at him in disbelief.

"You're an idiot." He asked.

Logan's eyes widened and he looked at Kendall in surprise.

"Carlos doesn't like James. Well I mean, he does, but like a brother. They were friends with each other before they were friends with either of us. Either way, the fact still remains, that it's not James Carlos has a crush on. It's you."

"Me?" Logan questioned.

"Yes you. He's always liked you."

"But you said someone he kisses. He's never kissed me."

"He's kissed you on the cheek almost every day since you've been friends. He's always using your shoulder as a pillow, and I seriously think he's considered raping you at least once. He probably brushed that idea off quickly when he realized that it would hurt you." Kendall explained.

Logan didn't say anything for a while. He just sat there, thinking over the past few years. He couldn't believe he hadn't seen it before. Not only all the times Carlos was flirting with him, but all the times he had gotten angry when Carlos was flirting with another girl. He had always dismissed it, thinking that he must like that girl as well, but all that time he had liked Carlos.

No wonder he was jealous of James.

"I'm an idiot." Logan said, laying his head in his hands.

"No, you just have trouble seeing what's right in front of your face."

"How should I tell him?" Logan asked. "I've never really had someone I liked, like me back."

"That's alright I've got a plan for that too." He pulled out a piece of paper. "Now I'll need some candles, whip cream, lube, and strawberry flavored condom."

"Kendall!" Logan cried out, embarrassed.

"What? Would you prefer cherry? I always thought of strawberry as more sexy."

"I- I'm not ready to do that," Logan said.

"Fine, how about you go to the movies?" He suggested.

"Won't it seem weird that I suddenly invite him to the movies?"

"You can invite me and James too, but we'll bale at the last minute." Kendall smirked, for a moment considering himself a relationship genius.

"Okay."

Kendall through and arm over Logan's shoulder.

"My little Logie is growing up. He almost has his first boyfriend." Kendall whipped away a fake tear.

"And you're okay with this right?"

"Of course."

"Then why aren't you okay with James dating Terrance?"

"That's different. That's not love. James shouldn't be dating Terrance, he should be dating," He stopped before he could say "me", and quickly added, "someone else."

Kendall wondered why he had almost suggested that James date himself. He wasn't gay, and he defiantly wasn't gay. That just wasn't him. James wasn't gay either, for that matter. He just had to pretend to be gay, and only until Logan and Carlos decided to go public with their soon to be relationship.

Logan smiled at him, almost with a sense of knowing, but he didn't comment on it. Instead he said, "I'm going to go check the movie listing," And left Kendall to his thoughts.

A/N: Sorry, school's kinda hectic, expecially when you through in Spring Play practice and Speech practice. And I have a speech meet tomorrow. I have to be at my school by 6: 15 am. Doesn't that sound fun? Anyways I appologise for the late update, I'll try harder next week. Now I have a couple questions for you?

~Do you have any ideas for romantic gooshy movie titles?

~Which is sexier, strawberries or cherries?

~And most importantly, how do you think Terrance should act? Should he still be an ass, or a stereotypical gay kid, or sexually abusive with James, etc. ?I really need help with this one.


	7. Big Time Date

Hello once again! Thank you for everyone that's reviewed so far, it's helped me a lot with my stories, not only with motivation, but also your great ideas. This story wouldn't be possible without each and every one of you. My goal is to get this chapter up before the new episode of Big Time Rush this Friday, so we'll see how that goes.

Disclaimer: One of these days I will own something and won't have to add a disclaimer bar, but until then I don't own Big Time Rush.

**Big Time Gay One**

"Why aren't you going to go?" Carlos whined to James. "We were going to see this crappy romance flick to help you learn how to be gay, and you're not going!"

"I'm sorry, Kendall walked out of his room in the most horrific shirt in the history of fashion. He needs to be taken shopping. Besides the theater is in the mall anyways, so we can just meet up when you're done and grab some dinner." James said, fixing his hair in the mirror on this vanity table, though he would _never_ call it that.

"But, but that leave me and Logan alone, in a dark theater, with a _romance_ movie." Carlos pleaded.

"Exactly, you should be thanking me." James smirked his normal cocky smirk.

"James, I don't want to do something that I'll regret." He said.

"Don't worry, the only thing you'll regret is not doing it sooner." James said.

"Huh?"

"Never mind, we need to get you ready for your first date."

James went through Carlos's drawers, throwing things ever which way until he found what he wanted. A pair of simple dark jeans, and a white button up shirt with black designs on it.

"It's not a date." Carlos mumbled, though he desperately wanted it to be.

"I can't do this," Logan said, plopping down on his bed.

"Sure you can." Kendall smiled.

"No I can't, there's no way I can. What if…what if I get nervous? I might throw up on him or something, or knock over my soda. I'll make a complete fool of myself."

"Logan," Kendall said, attempting to calm his friend. "This is Carlos, the same Carlos that can sustain numerous hockey injuries and be fine, but still cry like a baby at the end of _Titanic_. He's still the same Carlos that stayed at your house all of spring break instead of going to Mexico with his family because you broke your leg and he didn't want you to be lonely. He's the same Carlos that can skate circles around everyone on the ice, but trips over his own feet on solid ground. He's the same-"

"Is there a point to this?" Logan asked.

"Yes, and that point is, we've known Carlos for a long time. You won't make a fool of yourself around him because you've never done it before, at least not without his help. Just be natural and things will fall into place." Kendall said.

"Okay," Logan smiled, still a bit unsure.

"Well let's go. Your movie date waits."

"Date," Logan whispered to himself, loving the sound of it.

The exited the bedroom to find James and Carlos waiting in the living room.

"Wow," Logan said breathlessly, "you look amazing." He stared at Carlos.

Carlos blushed and looked away, "Thanks."

"Well," Kendall said, hoping to break the uncomfortable silence that had formed. "Let's get going."

"Yeah, to the mall," James cried and headed towards the door. Kendall jogged to meet up with him, leave Carlos and Logan slightly behind them.

"You really think I look good?" Carlos asked.

"Yeah," Logan replied blushing.

"Thanks, James picked out my clothes. I feel kind of weird in them. I don't think I've ever worn them before today." Carlos admitted.

"You'd be surprised what you can find in your drawers." He said.

"Yeah, oh and Logan, you look really cute too." He jogged a head to meet the others.

Logan's smile widened and he caught up with the rest.

"The First Kiss and the Last Good-Bye?" Carlos made a face as he read off the movie title.

"I think it might be kinda cute," Logan mused.

"Yeah, if you're a preteen girl or a gay guy," Carlos retorted.

"Aren't you gay?" Logan countered.

"I'm the manly gay time." Carlos said, puffing out his chest.

Logan rolled his eyes, "Whatever you say Mr. Manly."

"Damn strait," Carlos laughed and carelessly wrapped his arm around Logan's shoulder as he went to get the tickets.

The movie maybe would've been half way enjoyable if it wasn't for several audience members whispering about them. They heard the words 'fag' and 'queer' used more then once.

Logan sighed, his hand lay open on the arm rest.

Carlos eyes flickered between the hand and the movie. Finally he worked up enough courage to grab the others hand. He waited for Logan to pull back, or to laugh and roll his eyes as if this was some kind of joke, but all he did was tighten his hold and stroke it gently with his thumb.

"Logan?" Carlos whispered.

"Yeah," Logan turned to face the other.

"I, uh, never mind." He turned back to the movie.

Logan shrugged.

"Oh, screw it." He heard Carlos whisper. Then he turned around, grabbed Logan's shoulders and kissed him, if only to ease his own sexual tension.

Logan only wasted a moment in surprise before his kissed back.

Both boys continued until breathless.

"Hi," Carlos whispered.

"Hi," Logan replied.

"Wanna get out of here, this movie sucks." Carlos asked.

"Definitely."

Carlos grabbed Logan's hand and led him out of the dark theater.

Meanwhile off in the mall.

Kendall ran out of Hollister, coughing wildly.

"That store is the span of Satan." He called to James, who came out after him carrying three large bags.

"That may be, but the clothes are amazing."

"If by that you mean amazingly expensive. Not to mention the store is dark, it smells bad, and the people that work there are totally douches." Kendall huffed.

The argument was interrupted by the two boy's cell phones ringing, signaling a text message.

They pull out their phones and James laughed fondly.

"Mines from Carlos, he says, 'I kissed Logan!'"

"Funny, mines from Logan, he says, 'Carlos kissed me!'"

James and Kendall both laughed again before going to find the newly coupled friends.

A/N: Okay, I'm sorry this is so short, but it's a filler chapter, like the last few have been. The next chapter you get to meet Terrance. Way for you! As always I love to hear…erm read your ideas and opinions. So please please PLEASE review. I'm trying to make it my first story that gets 100 reviews. The person that sends me my 100th review will get a special one-shot of any BTR pairing (or another show if I know it) dedicated to them.


	8. Big Time Boyfriend

Okay, new chapter. First of all, Happy Easter, whether you celebrate it or not. I don't really care. Sorry it's been so long, but I missed the new episode on Friday (*tear*) so I didn't get my usual inspiration from that. But on the bright side, I got my hair cut. Quite a bit of it actually, it was at least three or four inches. I love it. Anyways, on with the show!

**Big Time Gay One**

James sat reluctantly in the back of a limo. He had tried almost everything to get out of going to the studio today.

He played sick, threw fits, covered himself in bandanas and kicked anyone in the shin who tried to come near him, but alas he was defeated. Kendall had picked him up and slung him over his shoulder. Sure Kendall was shorter, but he was definitely strong.

So now here he was, trying desperately not to bite his nails. It was a nervous habit he had when he was younger. He thought he was grown out of it, but now he was more nervous then ever and here it was staring him in the face.

"James it's going to be okay." Kendall assured.

"Yeah," Logan agreed. "We'll just tell Gustavo that Carlos and I are dating and you won't have to pretend to be gay anymore."

James laughed nervously. "Yeah…pretend." Because to everyone outside of him and Carlos that's all it was. He was pretending, acting if you will. James had tried multiple times to convince himself that it was all pretend. However, the butterfly that seemed to appear out of nowhere when ever he saw Kendall's smiled seemed to be telling him otherwise.

Not to mention that he had most definitely flirted with a guy at Hollister.

_Flashback _

James walked through Hollister. Kendall decided to be stubborn and sit on a bench instead of picking out clothes meant for him in the first place. Oh well, his loss.

"I love this song." James said, slightly exited, as American Boy, began playing in the store.

"Then you have great taste in music." James spun around to meet the eyes of another guy. This guys was taller then James, only slightly but James wasn't used to seeing people his own age taller then himself. He had dirty blonde hair, similar to Kendall's that was styled almost identical to James's, but a bit longer. His tight shirt showed of the fact that he was most definitely ripped beneath it, maybe even more so then James.

To put it simple, this guy was hot!!!

"Thanks," James said, a bit flustered that the guy had even talk to him in the first place.

"Anytime. Are you new around here? I know most the people who come in here by their first and last name." He said.

"I'm James, James Diamond." He held out a hand.

"I'm Aaron Weiss. I work here." He shook James's hand.

"Really, that's so cool," James said, playing with his hair a bit to bring attention to it. Maybe Aaron would notice how nice it was.

"If you applied you could probably get a job here. You're cute enough anyways." Aaron ran a hand through his own hair.

James giggled a bit, "Thanks are you this nice to all your customers."

"No. I think it's in the rules that all employees are supposed to act like assholes, but I'll make a special exception for you."

Then next forty-five minutes were filled with talking, and little touches. James had almost gotten an entire new wardrobe by the time Kendall found him.

"James if we don't leave soon I'm going to develop asthma." Kendall said.

"Okay, I'm done."

"I'll ring you up," Aaron said.

Aaron scanned the clothes.

"$125," Aaron said.

"No way, it should be much higher then that." James said, handing Aaron his credit card.

"I gave you my employee discount."

Kendall glared at him and took a deep breath to say something, only to go into a violent coughing fit and ran out of the store.

"Kendall!" James called after him.

"Here." Aaron handed him his bag and recipt. "My numbers on the back of the recipt. Call me if you ever dump that guy your with."

James blushed for multiply reasons. One of them being that Aaron liked him, but also because Aaron had assumed he and Kendall were together. James made no move to correct him of this. Instead he simply smiled and said, "We'll see." Before running after Kendall

_End Flashback_

"We're here." Kendall snapped his fingers in front of James's face to wake him from his day dream.

"Joy," James muttered sarcastically.

The four walked into the studio. James and Kendall were wearing equally pissed off expressions. Carlos and Logan were having too much fun making puppy dog eyes at each other to care.

"There you are. You're 4 and a half minutes late." Gustavo yelled.

"I don't want to be with Terrance." James said. "I don't want to be forced to be gay. If I was gay, which I'm not saying I am, then I would want to figure it out for myself and choose my own boyfriend."

"Too bad. I have no choice in the matter.

"But, me and Logan are gay now, see," Carlos showed Gustavo Logan and his hands folded perfectly together.

"Two things. One, it's about time you to get together. It was beginning to annoy me. And two we already have a contract with Wayne Wayne."

"Terrance," Logan corrected.

"Like it matters," Gustavo said.

"But I really don't feel comforta-"

"Jamie! Sweetie! I'm so glad you're here." Terrance walked up to James and kissed him, before hooking their arms together.

James just stood their stunned, not sure of what he should do.

"Hey, you can't just walk up and kiss James." Kendall defended.

"Yes, actually I can." Terrance pulled out his contract.

"Well all be, he's right. Didn't you read over this before you signed this?" He asked Gustavo. "And what's this section on groping?"

"What?!" James jumped back. "You are not doing that. Let me explain things. Those are your hands." James motioned to Terrance's hands. "And this is my ass." He tapped it softly for good measure. "Your hands do not belong on my ass."

"Okay let me see if I get this strait. These hands He held up his hands, "don't go on this ass." He placed his hands of James ass and squeezed tightly.

Kendall pushed him off of James, who was blushing madly.

"He said, no."

"Oh silly little Kendall, I can do what ever I want. James is my property now." Terrance giggled. "See you tomorrow, baby." He kissed James again, before leaving.

"Gustavo," James started.

"I'll see what I can do." He pulled out his cell phone.

"James," Kendall began.

"Please, don't," James said sadly before walking off, feeling dirty and slightly violated.


	9. Big Time Hair Feeling

Sorry it's been so long. I've been sick. So sick, in fact, that I missed sub-sections for speech. That makes me really sad, but my team did really good so I'm happy for them.

Disclaimer: My lawyer suggests that I don't answer any questions regarding to the ownership of Big Time Rush.

**Big Time Gay One**

When James Diamond woke up the next morning, the last thing he wanted to see was Carlos and Logan making out in the next bed over.

James groaned and rolled over. "Must you do this in here?"

"Kendall kicked us out of his room." Carlos said.

"Well, you don't need to do that in here. Go to the living room or something."

"We're not going to make out in front of Kendall's mom." Logan said.

"Oh, but it's completely fine to make out in front of me and Kendall."

"Yup," Carlos grinned.

James sighed and rolled out of bed. He grabbed a towel and some clothes.

"I expect you two to be done by the time I'm out of the shower."

James shut the bathroom door behind him.

"There are way too many people here." Logan said.

"Then let's go out for breakfast, my treat." Carlos replied.

"I do believe that I'm being asked out on a date."

"That is correct. It's a beautiful day outside and there is a coffee shop a few blocks away. We can go and be back in time for school." Carlos said.

"That sounds lovely."

Carlos sat up, still straddling Logan. He climbed off, grabbed Logan's hand and practically dragged him out the door.

~BTR~

James was relived to find the room empty when he returned.

He walked outside to find Kendall attempting to solve the puzzles on the back of the Captain Crunch cereal box.

"Hello," James greeted.

"Hey," Kendall responded.

"Where are Carlos and Logan?" He asked.

"They went out for a romantic breakfast."

"Good," James said. "I woke up to them making out."

"You too?" Kendall chuckled. "I'm worried that one day I'll wake up and they'll be trying to make a baby, as if it were possible."

"Maybe we should just switch rooms," James offered.

Kendall thought for a moment. Did he really want to deal with James as a room mate? Sure he loved James…like a brother (right?) But James had a tendency to be very high maintenance. He recalled several times when James would wake Carlos up because he was freaking because he couldn't find a particular shirt, or his hair had a fly away.

"Sounds good to me." Kendall finally replied.

They decided it was safer to switch out Logan's and James's stuff instead of trying to gather all of Carlos'.

They finished a little before Logan and Carlos walked through the front door. James lounging back on his new bed staring at his The Academy Is… poster with Kendall laying next to him, lazily staring at James.

"William Beckett is hot." James said a matter of factly. "I mean, I'm not saying I'm gay or anything, but if I was, I would definitely be in love with William Beckett." James said.

"I wonder if William Beckett is saying that about you." Kendall said. "Maybe he's staring at a Big Time Rush poster right now and saying 'James Diamond is the hottest guy on the planet'."

James laughed. "A guy can only dream."

"And if he did love you, what would you do?" Kendall asked.

James thought. "I guess I would have to convince Griffin to make him my pretend boyfriend instead of Terrance. I really hate that guy."

"Me too, he had no right to put his disgusting hands all over you."

"Yeah, it was really sweet of you to stand up for me like that." James said, blushing only a little bit."

"It was really nothing. You're a good friend of mine, and you didn't want him to touch you. Besides, I can never resist saving a Damsel in distress."

James turned to look at Kendall. It was then he realized how close they were. They were so close that he could feel Kendall's breath ghost across his lips.

"Well, I guess I'm the Diamond princess and you're my Knight in shining armor."

Kendall laughed. The two inched closer slightly, not by much, but it was enough to make their noses bump. Kendall licked his lips and one thought ran through James's head. 'This is it'.

"Guys!" Carlos burst into the room at the worst moment possible. "All of Logan's stuff is in my room."

"Yes Carlos that was the idea." Kendall said, sitting up.

James pouted a bit. He was so close. Damn Carlos.

"Oh, okay then. Get back to what you were doing." Carlos said, wiggling his eye brows a bit before exiting.

Kendall cleared his throat nervously and stood up. "We should probably get ready for school."

"Yeah, of course." James replied.

Kendall knew that he couldn't deny that if Carlos hadn't had burst in then he would've kissed James. Hell, he would probably still be kissing James. But why? He wasn't gay. He may have been a bit too fond of James his entire life. He would always do things for James that he wouldn't do for others do, but he had always figured it was because James was his best friend. He didn't find anything odd when he had slammed a player particularly hard into the wall at a hockey game after that player had knocked James over. James wasn't hurt or anything, but he could let him get a way with it. What if James had been hurt?

It was the same thing with Terrance. He didn't want to see James get hurt. He wasn't jealous. At least, he never thought that he was, until now. Now, knowing that moments ago he would've gladly kissed James, and he probably still would if he was given the chance.

As James ran his lucky comb through his hair, Kendall couldn't help but envy it. That was the only other thing in the world that was worthy of touching James's hair beside James himself. Kendall had always wondered what it felt like. He always wanted to touch it, just to see if it was as soft as it looked. Oh, what he wouldn't give to smell it, because whenever James walked by he always left a slight flowery sent lingering in the air, and Kendall was pretty sure that it was his shampoo.

James turned and looked at Kendall, who had been staring at him for a while.

"What's on your mind?" James dared to ask.

Kendall bit his lip, wondering if he should answer truthfully.

"Can I feel your hair?" He was always one to take risks.

James eyes widened. If it had been anyone else he would have said no in a heart beat. He would've scolded them for even suggesting it. But this wasn't just anyone else, this was Kendall.

"Okay."

Kendall moved slowly towards James. He ran his hand through James's hair, just as slowly. He savored each moment. He was soft, and silky. It was nothing like his own hair.

James leaned into the touch. It felt nice. He had never let anyone do this before, and he was sure that it wouldn't feel so nice if it was being done by anyone else. James let out a content sigh.

Kendall pulled back, his face was flushed and at that moment he realized one thing he was completely and totally in love with James Diamond.

"Um, thanks." Kendall said.

"You're welcome." James replied.

"Let's go, you're going to be late for school." They heard Kendall's mom yell from outside.

"Let's get going." James said, slinging his backpack over his shoulder.

"Yeah, let's." Kendall said, he couldn't wait to tell Logan about his new discovery.

A/N Who's proud of me for adding more Kames? I know it's been a while since I updated, so I decided to make it up to you. You know how much I appreciate your reviews. I love you all bananas and grapes (Bunches)


	10. Big Time Flashbacks

So…yeah. Nothing really new has happened to me yet. My little sister turned nine. She got a Miley Cyrus cd, but refuses to play anything other then Party in the USA. My hatred of the song has grown. No offence to you if you like it (or to Miley if you happen to be reading this. It just isn't my type of music.)

Disclaimer: Do I really need to say it?

**Big Time Gay One**

Kendall didn't want to pay attention to history; he wanted to talk to Logan. Logan had been his friend the longest. In fact he could remember back to when they first met.

_Flashback (You all know how much I love these.)_

Seven year old Kendall was surprised. It was rare to get a new student at all, but today they had two. Both boys had moved to the small town in Minnesota over winter break, and they were just beginning school.

The shorter of the two, Logan Mitchell, looked nervous. He tugged at the end of his clean, button up shirt and stared at his shoes. Logan had moved here from Corsicana, Texas. Kendall knew that the poor boy probably didn't like the cold, or the fact that the class was staring at him.

The other boy, James Diamond, looked much more confident. He had moved from New York City. He didn't seem to mind the cold, or people staring at him. In fact, it looked like he loved all of the attention. This didn't go unnoticed by a young Carlos Garcia, who had to sit in the back row because he constantly got in trouble for talking. Carlos was always one to be in the spot light, which is why he loved to be with people who had it.

Now don't take this the wrong way. Kendall knew that Carlos wasn't full of him self, he just liked to be noticed. Carlos had a big family, and his mom once told him that kids in big families didn't get as much attention as kids in small families. That's why his mom said he couldn't have a hundred little brothers like he wanted.

Other then that, Kendall didn't know much about Carlos. Which was odd seeing as they've been in the same classes since kindergarten. The only time they ever really talked was in P. E. when he and Kendall had a small childish rivalry going in sports, being the most athletic in their class.

Carlos's hand shot up. "Can James sit by me?" Carlos asked, with out waiting to be called on.

The teacher gave him a weary look, but the hope shining in his eyes brought her to say yes. Carlos smiled cheerfully as James sat by him.

Logan took the empty seat by Kendall.

"Hello." Kendall said.

Logan looked up, "Hi."

"I'm Kendall." He offered his hand.

"Logan." Logan shook it.

"So you're from Texas?"

"Yeah, it's a lot warmer there. I don't think I've ever seen snow other then TV until I moved here." Logan said.

"Really, I couldn't imagine no snow. If there wasn't snow, then I couldn't play hockey." Kendall said, looking appalled at the idea of anything but a white Christmas.

"Hockey?" Logan questioned the foreign word.

"You've never heard of hockey? You should come over to my house of Friday. The Minnesota Wild is playing agents Colorado Avalanche." Kendall's voice was filled with the typical childhood excitement.

"I'll ask my mom." Logan said smiling.

Logan's mom happened to say yes, and because of that one answer, an unbreakable bond was formed. It was a friendship that stayed in tact even when Kendall got asked out by the girl Logan liked, or when Logan got voted MVP on the hockey team in Sophomore year. They stayed friends through everything.

_End Flashback_

That was the reason Kendall always came to Logan first. James may be the one Kendall always protected, and the one he was in love with, but Logan was his first best friend.

~BTR~

Carlos tried not to laugh as he watched James trying to conspicuously check his hair in a small compact mirror. James has always been the hair obsessed Prima Dona that he is today, but Carlos was just fine with that. He had known the very day the teacher had introduced James to the class, that they were going to be very good friends. He didn't know how close they would become. Carlos figured the reason they had become as close as they were is because James had only laughed at him for the right reasons.

_Flashback_

Carlos had never been the smartest one in class. Okay so maybe he hadn't been the cutest or the tallest either, but about anything he wasn't the smartest. He actually thought he was the dumbest. He didn't want to be stupid. He did try, but things didn't come to him as easily as they did the other students. So when ever he got frustrated and decided he couldn't do it, he joked around.

It was the only thing he could think of to keep himself from getting close to tears. He didn't like to cry in front of other people. It might make them sad as well, and if there was one thing he hated, it was making other people sad.

But back on topic, Carlos had a tendency to be a bit loud. Okay, maybe a bit was under exaggerating. He was a lot loud. That normally caused him to get in trouble, which is why the teacher had placed him in the back row by himself. He was lonely back there, but the teacher wasn't changing the seating chart any time soon, so when the opportunity came for someone to sit by him, he jumped at it.

He scanned the room for empty seats as the teacher introduced the two new students. There were only two, one by Kendall and one by him.

Carlos looked up at the two boys. Logan looked like a goody two shoes. He probably wouldn't want to talk to Carlos at all. He would probably want to _pay attention_. But the other boy, James, now that kid had chorizema, although he wasn't completely sure what that word meant.

That was why he shot his hand up as fast as he could and asked if James could sit next to him. He was slightly surprised when the teacher agreed, but was happy.

"Hey, I'm Carlos." Carlos instantly greeted as James sat down.

"James Diamond, future king of pop," James said, flashing a smile that would probably need braces for at least two years.

Carlos laughed. "Wow, you know what you want to be already?"

"Yeah, of course." James said coolly.

"I don't know what I want to do. I think I want to play hockey, or be one of those guys who gets shot out of a cannon." Carlos said, completely serious. He waited for James to laugh, people always laughed at that, but Carlos though it would be pretty-

"Cool," James said, genially thrilled at the idea. "Maybe when I'm famous, you can shoot yourself out of a cannon at one of my shows?"

"That would be awesome!"

When the teacher had quieted them all down, she announced it was math. Carlos gathered a few things, before saying a small good bye and leaving with a few other students.

James was confused. Why didn't Carlos have to do math? James didn't like math. In fact he hated math. It was just a bunch of confusing numbers that made more numbers, and he didn't see why it mattered if farmer Johnson had 10 pigs, 15 chickens, and 6 horses. If he wanted to know the total of Farmer Johnson's animals, he would find him and ask him.

James decided that he would have to ask Carlos where he went and if he could come too.

Recess seemed to take for ever to get here. James finally stopped being stubborn long enough to find out that Farmer Johnson had 31 animals, Farmer O' Riley had 23 animals, and between the two of them they had 54 animal.

The teacher told James and Logan that they would have inside recess until it got a bit warmer, then they could play outside in the snow if they had the right clothes (A/N In MN, they really do let elementary students play on the playground when it's snowy, it just has to be above freezing. How do I know that? I live here.), and that recess would last 25 minutes. They all ran to the back of the room where it was filled with puzzles and board games.

Carlos and the other students that left earlier entered laughing about something.

"Hey," James ran over to him. James really didn't feel like making any other friends at the moment.

"Hi," Carlos said. He walked back to his desk that was a disaster area of crumbled up papers among other things, and put a booklet and pencil away.

"Where'd you go?" James asked the question that Carlos was waiting for.

"I'm not good at math." He said simply.

"So?"

"So, they have to put me in a stupid class. It's the same thing with English." Carlos waited for the laughter. The other children were always teasing him and the other students who had to go to the classes.

"Oh, okay then." James shrugged.

"You don't care?" Carlos asked, a bit confused, no one had ever reacted like that before.

"Not a bit. Besides," He placed a hand on Carlos' shoulder and looked him in the eyes, "you don't need math to shoot yourself out of a cannon, but you do need a helmet."

"I have one of those." He ran to his backpack and grabbed his hockey helmet. He placed it on his head with a goofy smile.

"Is it strong enough?" James asked. He didn't want his new friend to crack his head open.

Carlos hit it twice to check. "This things not breaking any time soon."

James smiled. "Good."

_End Flashback_

Carlos nearly chuckled out loud at the memory. He didn't want to think about were he would be today if James had laughed at him, but James wasn't like that.

~BTR~

James couldn't get his morning with Kendall out of his head. They had almost kissed. Kendall was going to let him kiss him. James couldn't believe it. It couldn't be true. There is no way Kendall Knight would want to kiss him. But hey, a guy can always dream.

James couldn't believe that he wouldn't even be in this situation had it not been for a hockey all those years ago.

_Flashback_

13 year old James couldn't believe his eyes, but there it was in black and white. He, James Diamond, had been picked out of everyone else in their school to sing the National Anthem for the Rec. Center hokey game this Saturday. It was the game that all the kids in school went to, because for some reason the state didn't see it fit for middle schools to have their own hockey teams.

James was smiling widely, which was something he didn't often do since he got his braces. He was just glad that he didn't have to have them in high school. He had gotten them about mid-way through 6th grade, and was going to get them off the summer before his freshman year. But at the moment he didn't care who saw his braces, all he wanted to do was find his best friend.

"Carlos!" James shouted, nearly tackling his friend over as he met him in the hallway. "Guess who's singing at your hockey game this Saturday."

"Posh Spice?" Carlos asked, equally exited.

"No."

"Then why are we so exited?" Carlos asked, now confused.

"Because, I'm going to be singing." James said.

"What? That's amazing. You won the contest?" Carlos was once again exited.

"Yeah," James was practically bouncing with excitement, but he couldn't do that, it would mess up his hair, and his hair was the only thing keeping him from looking like a total brace face loser.

"I can't believe it. This is so cool. You're practically a celebrity." Carlos said.

"You just wait Carlos my friend, by the time I'm 16 I'm going to be famous. I'll live in California, have my picture in Pop Tiger, and be making my first album." James said.

Carlos rolled his eyes, he had heard all of this before, but he always let James continue.

The bell rang.

"Well, I got to get to my bus." James said. "But remember, today a bus tomorrow a limo." James shouted triumphantly as he rushed towards the front door of the middle school.

Carlos laughed to himself and walked to the back parking lot where his mom was waiting.

Saturday came a lot quicker then James expected. He arrived at the rink early so they would have time to do a sound check.

James cleared his throat as he stepped up onto the small podium where the mic was set up.

The hockey team, who had been practicing at the time, stopped to watch.

James took a deep breath and began.

"Oh say can you see, by the dawns early light. What so proudly we-" He stopped when the feedback he was getting from the microphone was coming through louder then him.

"It's okay kid, that's what we do sound checks for." The sound guy said as he took a look at the microphone.

"I don't see anything wrong. Try again."

James did, with the same results.

The man thought for a bit. "I think your braces may be interfering." He said.

"My braces?" James questioned, eyes widening

"Yeah, we'll try to have that fixed for tonight." He took the mic back to work on it.

"You'll _try_?" James asked him as he left.

He heard someone from the ice cry out, "Way to go, Metal Mouth." The other players erupted in laughter, excluding Carlos and a blonde kid that Carlos sometime talked with. Kendall, he thought his name was.

James ran off to the locker room. He was too embarrassed to stand there another minute.

James sat the alone on a bench silently crying. He hated those stupid braces. He never wanted them in the first place and he wasn't sure he could last another seven months with them on.

"Hey," a voice called softly.

James whipped his eyes off quickly and turned to face Kendall Knight.

"Are you here to tease me?" He asked, sniffling a bit.

"Of course not, those guys are jerks for treating you like that." Kendall said, sitting next to him.

"Aren't they your team mates?"

"Yeah and they're really cool people when they aren't acting like jerks."

James laughed at this, but he quickly stopped when he saw Kendall glance at his mouth. He looked down.

Kendall placed a finger under his chin and brought James's face up so their eyes met.

"You shouldn't worry so much about your braces. You don't look half bad, and when you do get them off we'll throw a huge party for the best looking guy in all of Minnesota." Kendall said.

"There's no way I'll look better then you," James smiled, braces gleaming in the locker room light.

Kendall rolled his eyes, "Yeah, whatever."

_End Flashback_

A smile spread on James's face. Had he really flirted with Kendall all that time ago? He thought his love for Kendall was a relatively new thing, but apparently it reached all the way back to eighth grade.

~BTR~

Logan hated how the teacher had spread them apart. He was no where near Carlos, which probably was a good thing because Logan would gladly let him copy his work.

Logan sighed; he decided that he and Carlos were still in the honeymoon phase of their relationship. Seeing as how they couldn't keep from touching each other in some way when ever they were close enough to do so.

Logan found the whole situation funny, because if it hadn't have been for James, whom he was so jealous of a few days before, he would never know Carlos.

_Flashback_

Logan was never one for social situations. He didn't even know why agreed to go with Kendall to a stupid party for a boy he never even talked to before. But for some reason Kendall was so exited about seeing this James Diamond character.

Kendall parked his bike outside of James's house and Logan hopped off the back. Kendall grabbed a small present from the basket in front and walked up to the door and knocked.

James answered.

"Cool, Kendall you made it. And you brought…Logan," James said, remembering the boys name after some thought. They had algebra together right? Or was it History?

"Yeah, I got you something." Kendall said, holding out the present.

"You didn't have to." James said, quickly tearing off the paper. "A comb?"

"Yeah, it has perfect teeth, like you." Kendall smiled.

James laughed, "That's quite possibly the cheesiest thing I've ever heard in my life."

"But it got you to laugh, so I did my job." Kendall said.

Logan rolled his eyes.

"Please come it." James moved aside so his guest could come in.

Logan looked around. There was a fairly descent amount of people there.

James grabbed Kendall's arm and dragged him off to introduce him to some girls from his home room.

Logan spotted some one sitting all alone and decided to join him.

"Hello," Logan greeted, trying his best not to sound awkward.

"Oh hey, your Leon right?" The kid questioned.

"It's Logan actually," Logan said, sitting on the floral print couch, which Logan found horrid.

"Oh, I'm Carlos." The latino boy held out his hand.

Logan shook it and returned his smile.

"Yeah, you're a friend of James. I've seen you two together around school." Logan said.

"Uh huh, and you must have come with Kendall."

"You've got that right."

Things were silent. Logan looked around the room desperately search for something to talk about.

"So," Logan began. "You play hockey?"

"Yeah I love it. Do you play?" Carlos said, starting to get enthusiastic.

"I watch hockey, but I don't play. I figure skate." Logan said.

Carlos was obviously trying not to laugh.

"Figure skating? Really?" Carlos was now full out laughing.

"Laugh all you want, but I'm the only boy in a class full of pretty girls wearing tight fitting dresses."

Carlos stopped laughing.

"Nice," He slapped Logan on the back. "But you really should consider trying out for hockey. James parents are finally letting him play. They wouldn't let him until he got his braces off in fear of a wire breaking or something. And Kendall definetly trying out. He's the best center around. So you should too."

"I've never really played before." Logan said.

"Then we should hang out over the summer, all four of us." Carlos told him.

_End Flashback_

And the rest they say is Podunk town Minnesota history. The teacher dismissed them and Logan gathered up his things. He was going to go strait to Carlos when Kendall stopped him.

"I have a problem," Kendall said.

"What?" Logan asked. It was rare the Kendall himself had a problem that needed solving. He was always the one solving everyone else's problems.

"I think," Kendall looked around quickly and when he was sure no one was close enough to hear he whispered, "I love James."

Logan's eyes widened. James? Really? He couldn't be hearing Kendall correctly. Wasn't he the one that had spent the last week or so making sure that they understood that he was strait?

"I know, I know, well actually I don't know. This all just sort of hit me this morning. And we almost kissed and he let me touch his hair."

"Wait, wait, wait, you got to touch his hair?" Logan couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"Yeah, that surprised me too. I asked and he said yes…No you can't ask." Kendall said.

"I wasn't planning on it." Logan said.

Carlos had obviously become impatient waiting for them to finish their talk, because he had put his helmet on.

"Carlos what ever you're about to do, don't." Logan ran over to his boyfriend.

Kendall laughed and jogged over to them both.

~BTR~

The drive over to the studio was more quite then it usually was.

"So, what did you boys learn at school today?" Kelly asked, in attempt to break the silence.

"The only time people in Texas see snow is on TV." Kendall said.

"You don't need to know math to shoot yourself out of a cannon." Carlos replied.

"Braces cause awful feedback from microphones." James said.

"Be careful who you talk to at party because you just might end up falling in love with them." Logan said looking at Carlos.

All four boys laughed, because they each knew exactly what the other had been thinking of.

Kelly just shrugged and continued driving.

A/N: So does the length of this chapter get me off the hook for its non relation to the plot? I really didn't know where this came from. I just sat down and my fingers made words, plus I really liked the whole pre-stardom thing. I like to think of how it was before they came to L.A. Which is why I love the fic Rumors by DinosaurShapedChicken. Which should be updated soon, please *cough cough, hint hint*

Anyways, what did you think on my take on their meeting? I don't know if the comb Kendall gives him is his lucky comb or not, you can use your judgment on that.

Well, I made tacos, dropped chocolate ice cream on my keyboard, and drank so much coke that I'm probably going to be bleed corn syrup for the next few day, so I'm going to do the only logical thing. No not sleep! I'm going to go dance around my room like an idiot, duh!!!

Remember reviews pay for James's hair products. You don't want his hair to be limp and lifeless…do you?


	11. Big Time Feelings

Yeah, yeah, I know it's been a while, but forgive me. I haven't really been into Big Time Rush recently for some reason. I've had other things on my mind. Like the fact that a guy I like won't even spare me a passing glance. *Growls in frustration* and then Glee started up again. Then I started reading Spring Awakening fanfiction (AWESOME PLAY) but anyways, here you go.

Disclaimer: Oh, I totally own Big Time Rush. You just wait for the season finally when they all realize their gay feelings for each other. Lol, I wish.

**Big Time Gay One**

James had to glance around every corner before walking around just to be sure that Terrance would not appear. He wasn't in the mood to be attacked by kisses, or molested by anyone…other then Kendall.

James sighed, he really needed to let go of that dream that could never be. It was difficult when Kendall's every move was practically screaming 'Love me, James. You know you want you. I'll never love you back, but I'll let you love me anyways.'

"Hey baby, what're you thinking about?" A voice whispered in his ear.

James whipped around to come face to face with Terrance.

"What are you doing here?" James asked.

"Can't a guy visit his boyfriend at work?" He asked innocently.

"Not if the guy it you and the boyfriend is me." James said, putting air quotes around the word boyfriend.

"Jamie, you've got to learn to open up to me." Terrance wrapped his arms around James's waist.

"Two things, first don't call me Jamie, and second, let go of me." James commanded.

"I don't think I will. You see, here's how things are going to go. I'm going to use you to get off. Eventually the shame is going to get to you, like is does for all little sluts like you. Then Big Time Rush is going to fall apart, and I will finally have my revenge for what this band did to me." He grabbed James's hips so forcefully that it caused the other to wince.

"Let me go," James's pleaded.

"Come with me, baby," He dragged James off. He was quite a bit stronger then James.

He shoved James into a janitor's closet and began to undo his jeans.

"No please don't." James begged.

"Relax Jamie, we'll start off slow." He grabbed James's hand and placed it over the bulge in his boxers.

"No, Stop, stop!" James screamed.

"Wake up James."

James snapped up in his bed. He was shaking. Kendall wrapped his arms around him.

"It's okay James, it's just a dream." He whispered softly.

James felt a few tears slide down his cheeks. He had never been so scared, and that wasn't even real. He couldn't shake the thought that it might happen though. He didn't know what this Terrance character was capable of.

Kendall pulled back.

"Don't leave me." James begged.

Kendall just nodded. James moved over, giving Kendall room. Kendall got under the covers beside him.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Kendall asked.

"I can't stand Terrance. What if he does something to actually hurt me? What if he tries to rape me?" The question nearly got stuck in James's throat.

Kendall drew in a sharp breath. The question had crossed his mind more then once.

"I would never let that happen." He caressed James's cheek softly, brushing off a few stray tears.

It didn't take long for James to fall back into a restless sleep.

Kendall, however, could not fall back asleep. He walked out into the living room where he found Logan sitting on the couch watching some infomercial.

"Hey, what are you doing up?" Kendall asked.

"I could ask the same of you, I'm up because I have a big decision to make and my brain decided to wait till 3 o'clock in the morning to contemplate it." Logan said.

"James had a nightmare and it woke me up, he's back asleep now, but I'm just no longer tired. Care to explain this big decision?" Kendall asked, sitting by him.

"I think I might want to sleep with Carlos." He said.

Kendall's eyes widened, but Logan didn't notice. His eyes were focused blankly on the floor.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, at least I think so. I don't want to pressure him into anything. Oh God, he's just so innocent, but it's like my body craves him. Every time we're close all I want to do is hold him. I guess you really wouldn't understand." Logan laughed a little.

"I do," Kendall said in a small voice.

"How's it going with you and James?" Logan asked.

"I can't tell him. I want to, but I can't. He takes my breath away, and I don't know how I didn't notice it until just recently. How long have I felt like this?" Kendall asked.

"I can't say. My guess, since you first met. You were never so exited to go to a party until James had his braces party. You talked about it for weeks, both before and after."

"I just wish life was less complicated. It's almost scary to think about. I couldn't imagine a world with out James before, but now all I can imagine is me holding onto James so tightly that it hurts, and never once even considering letting go. But, I don't want to be gay." Kendall's voice was shaky. He had never spoken his new found thoughts of James out loud before.

"Life will work out, it always does." Logan said, hugging Kendall.

"And if it doesn't?"

"Let's not think about that."

A/N Okay, I know it's short. But I have writers block and I can't think of ANYTHING to write right now. So ideas would be really helpful. I kind of wanted to show Kendall vulnerable, and what better time then when he finally talks about his feelings.


	12. Big Time Day From Hell

So…miss me? Okay I will give you the next five seconds to curse me for all the pain and waiting I've caused to…...Done now? Okay, now you get the next five seconds to celebrate the new chapter…...You happy with me yet? You can really blame the wait on one thing. Harry Potter. Because I was really into Big Time Rush, then I reread the Harry Potter series and I was no longer obsessed with Big Time Rush. I've had quite a few obsessions since then too. But I was checking my email today and I read all the reviews that I haven't seen because my email treats any alerts from fan fiction as spam. So without any further waiting, here you go.

BTGO

For once in his life James Diamond didn't care how he looked. He really didn't want to leave the house for any reason, let alone a date with Terrance, after the dream he had last night.

He was surprised when he woke up to find Logan and Kendall laying on the couch together in the living room. He crept silently through the living room looking for his jacket, finding it draped over a potted plant. His heart was pounding wildly. He didn't want his friends to know he was leaving. He stepped onto the balcony and saw Carlos sitting there.

"Hey, going somewhere?" Carlos asked seeing the jacket in James' hand.

"I, uh, well,"

Carlos looked into James eyes, seemingly staring into his brain for an answer. James found himself unable to lie to Carlos.

"Date with Terrance. Griffin is making me. I really don't want to go, but my job is on the line. I have to." James avoided looking at Carlos, whose face showed nothing but sympathy and concern for his friend.

"Do you want me to tag along? I could get out my bush hat and follow you guys around to make sure he doesn't try anything." Carlos suggested.

"You can't, Griffin told me that I wasn't allowed to tell you guys what was going on. I'd be in trouble if he found out the I told you."

"Do you know where you're going?"

"Some club coffee house thing called Hipster."

"I'm worried about you James." Carlos put a hand on James shoulder.

James broke down, he threw his arms around Carlos and began to cry. Not because he was scared, or angry, he just couldn't take the stress. His whole life had been mildly relaxing. Sure it had it's ups and downs, but nothing too major. Now, it seemed like all the stress in the world was piling itself on James' back. He had just found out he was gay, he had a crush on a friend who would never possibly feel the same, he had a jerk of a fake boyfriend that, for all he knew, wanted to rape him, and this all happened within a period of a week.

Carlos let James cry it out. It wasn't very often that James cried. It just wasn't his style. James pulled back, still sniffling, but the sobbing finally stopped.

"Feel better?" Carlos asked with a small smile.

"A little." James admitted.

"I'll keep my phone on me all day. If you need me just call. Even if you can't talk, just call and I'll come and find you."

"You know, we sound really gay right now."

"Aren't we though?" Carlos face brightening up and James' humor.

"Yeah, but not for each other. You have Logan and I'm head over heels for Kendall."

Carlos chuckled. "Doesn't it feel nice to finally say that out loud?"

"Yeah, It feels so…liberating. Thanks dude. You're my best friend you know." James said.

"Thanks."

James turned to leave but stopped and turned back to Carlos.

"I almost forgot, what are you doing out here this early?"

"I woke up at 6 in the morning very hungry and wanting doughnuts, I was planning on having Logan drive me to the 7/11 to buy some, but he was asleep on the couch so I decided to wait out here until he woke up. He looked tired."

"Yeah, I wonder what he and Kendall were doing last night."

"Probably discussing whatever made you scream last night."

James blushed. "You heard that?"

"All of Palm Springs heard that. But we can talk about it when you get back." Carlos said.

"Okay, yeah, I should probably get going." James said looking at his watch.

"That you should."

"If I don't leave soon I'll be late."

"We wouldn't want that."

"Yes indeed. That would be most terrible."

"Are you going to leave soon?

"Yeah yeah, I'm going." James sighed before leaving the apartment and walking down to the waiting taxi to take him to his date from hell.

BTGO

When Kendall woke up that morning he couldn't figure out why his neck hurt so much, that is until he realized that he was sleeping on the couch with Logan. He recalled last night's events, James' nightmare. Logan's wanting to lose his virginity.

He stood up and stretched, noticing that Logan too was beginning to wake up.

"Morning sleepy head, or should I say, bed head." Kendall greeted.

Logan yawned at tried to smooth down the mess of hair on his head. "Morning."

"Logan you're awake!" Carlos came running in from the balcony and pounced on top of him. [[A/N Not like that you pervs]]

"Yes, I'm awake. But why are you? You're never up this early."

"I am when I want doughnuts and don't have the ability to drive." He smiled a big innocent smile, which in turn made Logan smile.

"So you want me to drive you to the 7/11 that's less then 4 blocks away when you could've easily walked and had doughnuts waiting for me when I woke up?" He asked playfully.

"Yep, that sounds right."

"You're lucky I find you incredible adorable. Come on I'll drive you to get doughnuts." Logan stood up and ran a hand through his hair, remembering how messy it is. "Right after I brush my hair."

"Aw, but I like your sex hair." Carlos joked, causing Logan's face to grow a shade of crimson. Carlos laughed at this. "Okay, go brush it. But I won't guarantee I won't make it look like that again later."

Logan's blush deepened and he ran off.

"What did I say?" Carlos asked Kendall.

"You kind of implied that you would be having sex with him later."

"What? Oh damn. I meant that I would mess it up with my hands or something. I didn't mean sex. I mean, it's not like I haven't thought of it, because I have, it's just Logan just seems so embarrassed at the thought." Carlos said, worried that he had offended Logan.

"Don't worry, you just surprised him. He thinks you're innocent."

"Me? Innocent? Just because I'm childish it doesn't mean I'm innocent."

"You have to convince him of that, not me." Kendall said as Logan was coming out from his room.

"Convince who of what?" Logan questioned.

"Oh nothing important." Kendall said, shrugging it off.

"Yeah, nothing nearly as important as my doughnuts."

"Okay," Logan said, still a bit unsure. "Do you want anything Kendall?"

"Anything with caffeine would be nice. Do you want me to go ask James?"

"No!"

The others stared at Carlos's out burst.

"I mean, I talked to him earlier. He said something about going out. He didn't want anything." Carlos rubbed the back of his neck hoping they would buy it.

"Okay then, I'll see you two when you get back." Kendall waved them off.

Carlos grabbed Logan's hand and pulled him towards the door. "See ya Kendall." He shouted back.

"What was that about?" Logan asked when they got to the parking garage.

"What? The James thing. Nothing." Carlos said.

"What are you hiding from me?" Logan stopped walking and looked at Carlos.

Carlos began to feel panicked. What could he do. If he told Logan that James was out with Terrance then Logan would tell Kendall and Kendall would want to meddle and then James would lose his job and his dreams would be crushed. So he said the only thing he could think of.

"James is in love with Kendall."

Logan looked at Carlos questionly for a moment. "Really?"

"Yes really. He's head over heels. Said so himself this morning."

"Oh, so that's why James went out. He probably doesn't want to face Kendall." Logan concluded.

"Yeah, that's it." It hurt Carlos to lie to the one he loved, but he had to.

"Well that's great because Kendall loves James."

"Ha! I knew it." Carlos beamed. "My gaydar hasn't failed me yet. Well how are we going to get them together?"

"I don't know. I think things will play off on their own if we leave them to it." Logan said getting in the drivers side of his car.

"Aw, but that's no fun." Carlos whined getting in the passenger side.

"Maybe not, but it's for the best." Logan pulled out and began driving. Carlos looked out the window and wondered how James was doing at the moment.

BTGO

"James, you made it. You look like hell this morning." Griffin greeted with a smile.

"Thank you?" James said.

"Don't worry we'll fix that." He clapped his hands a several groups of people appeared. "This is Jeannette, she'll be in charge of your wardrobe. Amy is in charge of your make up,"

"Make-up?" James asked,

" Carla will give you your manicure, Stacy will work on your spray tan, Brittney's job is to find you the perfect pair of sunglasses,"

"I have a separate person just for sunglasses?"

"And lastly Raul is working on your hair. Only the finest products of course."

"Why go through all this trouble?" James asked.

"Because we've tipped off a few of the hottest tabloids that your and your boyfriend are going to be there. We need you to look good when your picture winds up on the cover."

"The cover?" James eyes lit up. "Me on the cover?"

"Of course, nothing is more scandalous then same sex couples now a days. Because of this parents are not going to want their children to listen to Big Time Rush, and because of that children, especially teens, are going to want to listen to it more. Not to mention will get all of the gay listeners. If we had the budget we would make all members of Big Time Rush gay."

"Logan and Carlos are, and they're together. So do I really have to do this?"

Griffin thought for a minute. "Yes. We have a contract. But it's about time those two got together. It was really starting to annoy me."

James sighed.

"Oh come on now James. Look on the Brightside. You get to spend the morning getting pampered. You get lunch on me at one of the nicest restaurants around then you get to go to a nice club with an okay guy."

"Terrance is not an 'Okay guy'. If it had been anyone but him it would've been better."

"Well it's him. So you go get ready. I'm going to call Terrance."

James hung his head and started back with the group of people, only feeling mildly ashamed of himself when he noticed how cute Raul was."

BTGO

Carlos, Logan, and Kendall all sat on the couch eating doughnuts. It seemed quite in the house. Something was off.

"Hey Kendall. Where's your mom?" Carlos asked. "And your sister too. I haven't seen them in a while."

"You know, I'm not sure. There's just been so much going on that I didn't really notice it."

"I'll go check the fridge." Logan bounced up and went to the kitchen.

"Why would they be in the fridge?" Carlos whispered to Kendall.

"Ah ha, just what I thought. 'Kendall gone to Minnesota to visit grandma. She has managed to convince her self that the reason the weather is over 70 is because Aliens are attacking with there heat ray. There's food in the fridge. Be home Sunday.'" Logan read allowed.

"Well that explains things. With the lack of my mom, sister, and James. Things are way too quite. Where did you say James went again Carlos?" Kendall asked.

"Uh, I didn't."

Kendall raised an eye brow.

"Hey, uh, let's play a game." Logan said, going back over to the couch.

"Sure, How about truth or dare?" Kendall said not taking his eyes off of Carlos.

"Okay, I have nothing to hide." Carlos said, trying to seem confident. "You go first."

"Logan, truth or dare?" Kendall asked.

"Uh, truth I guess." Logan answered, wishing that he wouldn't get roped into that mess.

"Did you like it? The time you crossed dress I mean. And have you done it since then?"

"W-what? You can't ask two questions!" Logan was as red as he's ever been.

"Just answer." Kendall said.

"He only has to answer one question." Carlos defended.

"No and no." Logan said. "The tights' were horrible. The wig was itchy, and I don't know how girls can stand all that make up. I've just never had a reason to do it again."

"Would you if you had a reason?" Carlos looked mildly exited.

"It's not your turn. Carlos truth or dare." Logan said.

"Dare me sexy."

Logan blushed and thought for a minute.

"I'll let you off easy. I dare you to kiss me."

"Aw, only kiss? I mean why not jack off or blow?"

"C-carlos!"

"I'm not as innocent as you think I am."

Logan looked at Kendall.

"You told him?"

"Not everything, just that you thought he was innocent."

"Which I'm not, thank you very much!"

"Still, you weren't supposed to tell him!"

"Kendall truth or dare." Carlos asked.

"Well I'm sorry. Truth."

"How long have you been in love with James?"

"You hypocritical son of a- I can't believe you told him that I like James."

"Not like, love." Carlos corrected.

"I trusted you, Logan."

"And I trusted you. I guess we know better who to trust."

The two boys continued to shout at each other. Carlos felt bad, this was all his fault.

"If you're not going to trust anyone, then don't trust me. I lied to you. Both of you. James isn't out for the reason that either of you think."

They stopped arguing at looked at Carlos.

"What?" Kendall asked. "Where is he? What is he doing?"

"I can't tell you that. I promised him I wouldn't." Carlos said, wondering what he got himself into.

"Is out by himself?" Kendall asked.

"No…" Carlos looked away.

"Who is he with?" Logan asked.

"I can't tell you."

"Why the hell not?" Kendall asked.

"I promised. Please, please don't make me break my promise. I already feel like a horrible person because I lied to you both." Carlos said hiding his face in his hands.

"Don't worry. We won't pressure you." Logan said, kissing the top of his head gently. "Right Kendall?"

"Yeah. I don't care who James is with just as long as it's not-"

BTGO

"Terrance, nice to see you again." James greeted in a monotone voice.

"Oh Jamie sweetie, I missed you." Terrance kissed him on the cheek.

James wiped it off. "Yeah, so is this a fun place?" James asked as the stood outside of Hipster.

"Only the most fabulous teen club in the area. Come on you're going to have bunches of fun."

Terrence dragged him inside. The club turned out to be better than James had expected. There was a bar that appeared to be serving coffee. A dance floor that was covered in lit up tiles a DJ who was just to the right of a big stage with a cat walk and a-

"Stripper pole?" James questioned.

"Oh yeah, this was an old strip joint. I'm gonna go dance. You comin?" Terrance asked.

"Uh, in a bit. The paparazzi isn't here yet. I'm going to get something to drink." James said pointing to the bar.

"Okay, come find me when the cameras get here." He walked off to the crowded dance floor.

James sat on one of the stoles by the bar. "Give me a shot of espresso." He told the man behind the counter.

"Make it a double. On me." James looked up at the source of the voice and his face brightened.

"Aaron? Boy am I glad to see a friendly face." He said as Aaron sat down next to him.

"I'm glad to see you too James. So you here with your boyfriend Blondie?" Aaron asked casually.

"No, that guy wasn't my boyfriend. I'm here with another guy, someone I'd rather not be with." James admitted.

"Well you could've fooled me. That guy was so jealous that I was flirting with you."

"Really? You must have misread something. Kendall's strait."

"Yup, strait as a slinky."

James and Aaron looked at each other for a moment before they both burst into laughter.

"So, want to ditch the guy you came here with and spent the time dancing with me?" Aaron asked.

"I would be glad too." James allowed Aaron to grab his hand and lead him onto the dance floor.

BTGO

"You let him go out with that monster?" Kendall screamed causing Carlos to flinch.

"Don't yell at him."

"I had no choice. Griffin told him that if he didn't go he would lose his job. We can't go in and stop things. If James get fired then everything's done for him. Kendall he's living his dream. I've known him for a while. This is all James has ever wanted." Carlos told him. Eyes pleading him not to get involved.

"I, uh" Kendall sighed. He knew he couldn't do anything. "I hate this. I hate this so much. Things would be better if I just told him how I felt."

"Then do it," Logan said.

"It's not that simple. I've never been in love like this before. I've never been in love at all before. I didn't even know I was gay. I still don't think I am. It's just James…It's always been James." Kendall ran a hand through his hair.

BTGO

"Are you sure this is okay?" James whispered to Aaron.

"Of course. The manager is a good friend of mine." He pulled James onto the stage. "DJ, hit it!"

A familiar song began playing. Aaron handed James a microphone while he kept one for him self. James felt himself smile as every guy in the club was staring at him with hungry eyes.

"It's too late baby, there's no turning around. I've got my hands in my pocket and my head in the clouds. This is how I do, when I think about you. I never thought you could break me apart. I keep a sinister smile and I hole in my heart. You want to get inside Then you can get in line, but not this time. Cause you caught me off guard. Now I'm running and screaming. I feel like a hero and you are my heroine"

James began to loosen up as Aaron joined him for the second verse. "I won't try to philosophize. I'll just take a deep breath then I'll look in your eyes. This is how I feel and it's so surreal. I got a closet filled up to the brim with the ghosts of my past and their skeletons. And I don't know why you'd even try, but I won't lie. You caught me off guard. Now I'm running and screaming."

James held his microphone out to the crowd to sand along with him. "I feel like a hero and you are my heroine. Do you know that your love is the sweetest sin?"

James pulled the mic back. "And I feel a weakness coming on. It never felt so good to be so wrong. Had my heart on lockdown and then you turned me around. And I'm feeling like a newborn child every time I get a chance to see you smile. It's not complicated. I was so jaded."

James lowered his voice and Aaron pulled him close as they both sang into James' mic. "And you caught me off guard. Now I'm running and screaming."

The rest of the song wasn't finished. Aaron placed his lips on James who recuperated with passion. Just when James thought things were looking up he heard the snap of cameras. He pulled back to see that the paparazzi had finally. They were pushing through the crowd, snapping pictured of James. Aaron still had an arm around James' waist.

"You famous?" Aaron asked.

"Kinda. I gotta get out of here."

"Follow me." Aaron grabbed his hand and pulled James to the back exit. The ran down the block a ways until the reach a motorcycle. Aaron handed James the spare helmet. "Put this on." He instructed.

"It'll mess up my hair." James said, horrified at the thought.

"So will the concrete if we crash, now put the helmet on." James did so while Aaron got on the motorcycle and patted the spot behind him. James looked around quickly before getting on.

"Where do you live?" Aaron asked.

"The Palm Springs." James said.

"Got it." The two sped off, leaving the reporters in their dust.

It seemed to take longer to get back home then it did to leave, but he was glad when he finally got there.

"Let me walk you to your apartment." Aaron insisted.

"Okay."

"So, what did those vultures want with you?"

"I'm kind of in a band. It's a boy band type of thing called Big Time Rush. It's me and my 3 friends Carlos, Logan, and Kendall, the blonde guy you saw me with."

"I see. And how long have you had feelings for Kendall."

"A while I guess, but-Hey, how did you know?" James asked.

"I just know these things." Aaron smiled.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have lead you on."

"It's okay. It wouldn't have worked out between us. After all, it's illegal. I'm 24."

James started at him. "What? 24? Oh the tabloids will have a field day with this." James said in a worried voice.

"Don't worry. It'll all work out."

"This is where I live." James said, stopping out of an apartment door.

"Good luck with Kendall."

"Thank you."

The door flung open and there stood a very angry looking Kendall.

"You stay away from him you basta-You're not Terrance." Kendall froze.

"No, I'm Aaron. And I was just leaving. Bye James. You have my number, so call me if you need me for anything." He winked and began walking back to his bike.

"What was that about?" He asked James.

"All in good time my friend. Now, I just really want to relax."

TO BE CONTINUED…SOON…I PROMISE THIS TIME.

A/N: So…good?…bad? How was it. Your reviews are what really made me want to continue. I haven't updated in so long and yet your reviews kept coming. The next chapter is already in progress. Thank you all so much.


	13. Big Time Coming Out

A/N: After that last chapter I really wanted donuts. I got them this morning. They were really good. I'm starting to get back into the swing of things. My original plot idea has changed, only slightly and hopefully for the better. I would once again like to thank everyone that reviewed even when I wasn't updating. I love you all. This story wouldn't have been possible without you. Oh, and I apologize for calling the apartments Palm Springs. Idk why I did that. I hadn't seen the show in a while when I last updated. But now I've caught up, so it's all good! Well…here goes the story

BTGO

James had fallen asleep on the living room couch almost immediately after he sat down.

"Who was that guy?" Carlos asked.

"This jerk who works at Hollister. I met him when I went there with James." Kendall replied with distain.

"He's cute." Logan replied off handedly.

"Logan!" Kendall and Carlos said in unison.

"I was only joking." Logan said, rubbing the back of his head and blushing.

"You better have been." Carlos pouted. Logan leaned over and kissed the pout off of his face.

"Guys! Still in the room." Kendall reminded.

"Oh, don't be all grumpy because you can't make out with James." Carlos said. James stirred slightly in his sleep, causing Kendall's eyes to widen. But James didn't wake up, he only shifted into a more comfortable position.

"I should go put him in bed." Kendall said, looking at James with loving eyes. He picked James up bridal style. James snuggled closer into Kendall's chest, causing Kendall to blush and Logan and Carlos to snicker.

Kendall placed James on his bed. He pulled off James' shoes and took a moment to look at the taller boy. He slowly reached out and brushed a strand of hair out of James' face. He smiled in his sleep. Kendall smiled back before going out to where his friends still sat.

"So when are you going to tell him?" Logan asked.

"How long till pigs fly again?" Kendall asked.

Logan rolled his eyes. "You can't honest expect to keep this to yourself."

"Well I do."

"Kendall don't be so stubborn." Carlos said.

"It's not an easy thing to do!"

"We know." Carlos and Logan said in unison.

"Just because it worked out so swimmingly for you two doesn't mean that it will work out for James and I. He, he deserves someone better than me." Kendall said looking away from the other two.

"Better? What do you mean by that?" Logan asked.

"James, he's perfect. Perfect smile, perfect hair, perfect body, perfect voice, perfect heart. Me, I'm just Kendall. I'm a rough handed hockey player that probably should've never left small town Minnesota. My eye brows are bushy. My abs aren't exactly rock hard. And my singing? Gustavo may think I have the fire, and I guess I have an okay voice, but it's never what I wanted." Kendall explained. "He deserves someone as perfect as him."

"Kendall," Logan reached out, but Kendall turned away.

"I need some air. I'm going out for a little while." Kendall stood up and walked out of the apartment without another word.

Carlos looked at Logan sadly. "What are we going to do about those two?"

"I don't know." Logan admitted. "I just, I don't know. Kendall's always the one who comes up with the plans.

"Yeah, well you're a genius, and I'm…well you're a genius. I'm sure we can come up with something." Carlos said optimistically.

"Yeah, you're right." Logan smiled at his boyfriend.

"But until then," Carlos pushed Logan onto the couch and kissed him hard, causing Logan to squeak in surprise. Carlos took advantage of Logan's open mouth and slipped his tongue in. He pushed Logan's tongue with his playfully, urging the other to play along. Logan's eyes slowly fluttered shut, causing Carlos to smirk into the kiss.

Carlos slipped his hand under Logan's shirt.

"Carlos, what are you-" Logan tried to asked after pulling back from the kiss.

"Shh, just go with it." Carlos whispered in a husky voice.

Logan silently nodded.

Carlos kissed Logan again, massaging Logan's abs, his hand slowly making it's way up. Carlos rubbed one of Logan's nipples, testing the water. Logan squirmed slightly, gasping a bit. Carlos pressed his hips against the others. Logan moaned, a soft powder pink blush appearing on his cheeks.

BTGO

James woke up to the site of the wonderful William Beckett on his wall. He sighed. He had once told Kendall that if he was gay that he would be in love with William Beckett. That was a lie of course, for all of his heart was property of Kendall, but that didn't stop James' fan boy crush one bit.

"How long was I asleep?" He thought to himself. He looked at the clock on his nightstand. "Only about 20 minutes."

He stood up and stretched, rolling his neck to work out the slight stiffness, and walked out of his room and into the living room where he was greeted with a rather unpleasant sight.

Carlos had Logan's shirt pulled up and was sucking his nipple. Logan's head was thrown back in passion, his eyes closed tightly.

"AH! My eyes!" James covered his eyes with his hands and ran into the kitchen. Logan and Carlos pulled apart so fast that Carlos fell over the coffee table and onto the floor.

"We've stopped James." Logan said, fixing his shirt.

"You have a room for that sort of thing, you know?" James yelled to them, not yet going into the living room.

"Sorry, we just kinda got…" Carlos looked to Logan for help.

"Caught up in the moment." Logan finished.

"Next time you two get "caught up in the moment" please try to make it to your room." James said walking back into the living room. By now Carlos had picked himself off the floor and had taken a seat on the couch by Logan. "Hey, where's Kendall?"

"Gone out for a bit. Do you really think we would've been doing that if he was home?" Logan asked.

"You know, it wouldn't surprise me." James said, rolling his eyes. Carlos threw a pillow at James.

"Hey!" James yelled getting hit in the face, his hair getting slightly messed up.

Carlos and Logan laughed as James pouted.

"So what happened today?" Logan asked.

"Can't I wait till Kendall gets back?"

"So you want to explain to him why you showed up on the arm of that Abercrombie and Finch dude?" Carlos asked.

"He works at Hollister thank you, and that was nothing, he was just giving me a ride home." James said, he smirked slightly and looked at Carlos. "On his motorcycle."

"Hot!" Carlos said. Logan shot him a glare. "What you called him hot. Why can't I compliment his bike?"

"Carlos has somewhat of a motorcycle fetish." James told Logan.

"What?" Carlos's face went red. "It's not a fetish."

Logan laughed.

"S-stop laughing! You know it's not a fetish right? It's just a fondness." Carlos tried to explain.

"Yes, of course dear." Logan said rolling his eyes.

James laughed. "You guys are very odd people."

"But you know you love us." Carlos said with a dorky smile.

"Unfortunetly." James said rolling his eyes. "I'm going to take a shower. Logan can you make dinner? I'm starving."

"I most certainly can. Do you want pizza or Chinese?"

"Chinese sounds wonderful." James said, knowing that it's Kendall's favorite.

"To the phone!" Logan said in a dramatic voice before running into the kitchen to get the phone to order their dinner. Carlos laughed at his boyfriends crazy antics.

"Logan, James was right, you're weird, but I most certainly love you." Carlos said.

Logan looked at Carlos with loving eyes. "I love you too."

BTGO

Meanwhile, Kendall sat by the pool with his guitar. He only knew a few chords, but he hoped that it would help him sort things out. He may not be able to tell James his feelings, but maybe he could sing them. James would like that a lot. He scribbled some words done on the notebook next to him and continued playing.

BTGO

The rest of the night was relatively uneventful. The next morning however was a different story. The boys were awakened at 8 in the morning by a loud knock on the front door. Logan was the first to get there.

"Hello," He said opening the door, coming face to face with none other then Griffin.

"Ah, it's you. Where's James?"

Logan stood there shocked for a moment. "James!"

"I'm busy!" James called back.

"This is important!"

"Not as important as my hair!"

"Forget about your hair! Griffin is here!"

"What?" He jogged into the living room. "Griffin, what are you doing here?"

"Care to explain this?" Griffin handed him a magazine. By this time Carlos and Kendall had joined them in the living room as well. They all looked at the magazine with wide eyes. There on the cover was James and Aaron in a passionate kiss. James blushed.

"What the hell is this?" Kendall asked James.

"That is exactly what I was thinking. That I not the guy we hired."

"I'm sorry. I really am. He made me sing on stage and things got out of hand. You know, performance adrenaline and what not. Please don't fire me."

"Fire you?" Griffin asked. "I like this guy better. He seems more real. As of today Terrance's contract is officially terminated. Good bye." Griffin left.

"Yes! This is great!" Carlos cheered, but fell silent when he saw the dark look on Kendall's face.

"James?" Kendall turned to him.

"Yes?"

"What is this?"

"That is me kissing Aaron," He said, unable to bring himself to look at Kendall.

"Just answer me one more question. Are you gay? Like ligitly gay? Is it not just an act?"

"Kendall, I'm sorry."

"Just answer the question."

"Kendall, please."

"Yes or no James!"

"Yes! For the love of God. I'm gay!"

"James is gay?" All for boys turned to look in the doorway, seeing a very shocked looking Katie and Mrs. Knight. All of their eyes were wide.

"Uh," James found himself unable to talk.

"Kendall? Can we talk?" Mrs. Knight asked. "In private." She added.

Kendall looked at his friends who all looked rather nervous. He followed his mom to his room.

"What was that about? I passed Griffin in the hallway, then I hear you two shouting."

"Well, uh, let's start by answering you're earlier question. Yes, James apparently gay. So are Carlos and Logan. They are a couple you know."

"It's about time. They were beginning to annoy me."

"Yeah, that's what everyone says.

"And what about you?"

"Me? I'm not gay. Well, not completely I don't think. It's just, I love James."

Mrs. Knight wrapped her arms around her son. "Oh sweetie. It's about time you've noticed that."

"What?" Kendall pulled back.

"I've known all along. I couldn't tell you because I knew you would deny it."

"How did you know?"

"A mom just knows these things."

"Thanks. Now you should probably go talk to the others. They are most likely worried about what's going on in here."

"Okay, I will. And mom, thanks." Kendall rushed out to his friends. "Guess who doesn't mind having my gay best friends live with her?" Kendall said with a smile.

"Let me guess, she knew the whole times and she's really glad that Logan and Carlos all together because it was beginning to annoy her?" James said.

"Pretty much."

"Did we really annoy that many people by not getting together sooner?" Logan asked.

"Yes." Katie said. "Kendall, can you help me unpack?"

"Sure thing baby sis." Kendall took Katie's suitcase to her room.

"So when are you going to tell James that you like him?" She asked.

"You too?"

"Yup, now, what's your plan?"

"Well I wrote this song." He pulled out a folded piece of paper from his pocket and handed it to her. She read over it.

"This is good, but it's not going to be enough. Here's what you've got to do."

TO BE CONTINUED!

A/N: Ooo, what's Katie got planned? Next chapter will be the epic conclusion! I know many of you were hoping for sex, however, I don't think it would be good in this story. Anyway…Who wants to do the "This story has over 200 reviews dance" *dances* Keep them coming! The more reviews the better the conclusion and anyone that reviews this chapter will get a special thank you note in the conclusion's authors note…and cookies. I love you all!


	14. Big Time Moment

A/N: _Holy…shit…guys. Seriously, looking back I never thought this story was that good. I thought I took a good plot idea and butchered it with my horrible writing and yet here I am now, writing yet another chapter. Why? Because even though I haven't updated in a really long time, people get reviewing. Almost 300. I took the time to read all of them and I started crying. I love you all_

_Thank you for not losing faith in me. I'm going to begin editing all my past chapters, so be on the look out for the improved versions of those as well._

_I've been meaning to write me, so if you ever have a plot bunny and no time send me a message on tumblr. My username is SouperLove. Thank you all again, and well, here we go!_

_**Warning**__ this contains the word fuck. If you just flinched when you read it here then why are you continuing on?_

_**Disclaimer**__: They way you guys complimented me made me think for a while I did own BTR, but I don't._

**Big Time Gay One**

This was a bad idea. No scratch that, this was a horrible idea, but it wasn't. This was a horribly wonderful idea. I train wreck waiting to happen, only that train was filled with prepackaged food and the place it crashed was filled with starving children who didn't get hurt in results of the crash.

"Kendall, are you doing that thing were you make ridiculously extended metaphors in your head when you're nervous?" Logan asked, taking a seat on Kendall's bed by him. Kendall had been in there all day. Carlos had taken James out to the mall so Kendall could set up his special surprise.

Everyone had found a way to help, even Gustavo. Thanks to Katie superior organizing skills, things were going to be perfect.

However, Kendall hadn't moved from that spot since James left that morning.

"No. I mean yes. Oh it doesn't matter. I can't do this." Kendall buried his face in his hands.

"Can't do what? Tell James that you love him?"

Kendall said something, but his voice was muffled by his hands.

"Stop moping and speak clearly now." Logan said.

"I said, I don't love him."

BTGO

It wasn't odd for James to spend a lovely after noon with friends at the mall. It was one of James' favorite past times. It was odd for all of a sudden Carlos, of all people, decided that he wanted to go to the mall with him, and no one else. Not even Logan, his boyfriend. For Carlos to be away from Logan for any extended period of time was suspious. The two were inseparable before, even more so after they started dating. They hadn't had any fight that James had known about.

"Hey Carlos, it's been so long since we last hung out. This is pretty fun, huh?" Translation: Something is off about this situation, and I'm going to find out what.

"Yeah, I've spent so much time with Logan that I was afraid that my best friend was going to feel left out." Carlos responded. Translation: I know you know that something's up, but you're not getting any hints from me.

"Don't worry, I understand. Speaking of which, how are things with Logan?" James asked, feigning innocence.

"Oh, perfect. Couldn't be better." He responded.

"Then why isn't he here? I mean, unless you guys had a fight or something." James knew that they didn't. There was no way. If there was Carlos would have mentioned something about it after the first question. This was a plot. A plot that involved him being somewhere else and distracted. He knew this because he had been the master mind behind many similar plots before. The only way to get back to the Palmwoods and figure out why he wasn't suppose to be there was to distract the person who was suppose to distract him. And nothing was more distracting to Carlos than Logan.

"No, we didn't have a fight. I just wanted some bro time. Not some bro and boyfriend time." Carlos said.

"You two had sex didn't you?" James said.

"What?" Carlos' eyes widened. His cheeks darkened slightly. Dusting a light pink that didn't stand out too well against his dark skin.

"You did. You both had sex and now it's too awkward to look at each other. You know, running away isn't the answer. We should go back home so you and Logan can stare at each other until the post sex awkwardness has worn off, then you guys can go back to making out on every semi flat surface in the room." James said.

"James! We didn't have sex!" Carlos said, a little too loud, attracting the attention of a few too many people in the mall of Carlos' liking. James just smirked.

"So, who was on top?"

Carlos hit James on the arm, but James was laughing too hard to care. This was going great. The more weird he was, the less Carlos would want to be seen in public with him.

But when you've known someone as long as Carlos and James have known each other, you know all their tricks. Carlos had taken up this mission and there was no way he was going to fail. Besides, he didn't want to have to tell Katie that he failed. That girl could be scary.

"Fine, you caught me. I was on top by the way. I just can't surpress the dominate nature of mine in the bedroom. I mean, you remember that time we kissed. It was obvious who was the girl in that moment." It was now Carlos' turn to smirk.

James glared. "There is no 'girl' in a gay relationship. The whole point of gay is no girl. And shut up, 1 I know you didn't really have sex, I was teasing, and 2 I so could've dominated you if I wanted you. I'm a dominating kisser extraordinaire!"

"Really, you seemed like the bottom boy type when we kissed." James jumped.

"Aaron?" James asked.

"Hey Diamond. Who's your friend?" Aaron asked, slinging an arm around James' shoulders.

"Taken." Carlos said, slightly flustered. Aaron was cute, not as cute as Logan of course, but he wouldn't be surprised if this guy was a model or something.

James laughed. "This is Carlos, and he has a boyfriend."

"Yeah, and he's adorable and smart and funny and…will be buying a motorcycle. Once I convince him too." The last part came out as more of a mumble.

Aaron laughed. "He sounds great. Speaking of great guys, how's you know what going with you know who?" Aaron asked James.

"That's a great question. I only wish I knew what the hell is going on. Sometimes I think that the powers that be like to screw with my head. Oh and you don't have to be all discreat. Carlos knows. He was the first one that knows." James said.

"Wait, this guy knows you like Kendall?" Carlos asked. "I thought this was a big secret hush hush thing, why does he know?"

"I figured it out on my own. I'm like, and unofficial relationship guru or something. I know true love when I see it. I know James and Kendall are head over heels, they just need to stop tip toeing around each other and make out already." Aaron said.

"Hey!" James exclaimed. "We don't know how Kendall feels. He's never actually said that he loves me. Right Carlos?" James looked at Carlos, who was looking around anywhere but at James.

"Uh…"

"Right Carlos?" James repeated, pulling away from Aaron.

"Well, you see, I can't really…" Carlos trailed off. Man, he was a terrible lier.

"Oh my god." James whispered.

"James-" Carlos began.

"Oh my god! He, he loves me. I mean, did he actually, has he, did he say it? L-like actually say it?" James, ran a hand through his hair, it falling perfectly back into place like some James hair magic.

"Kind of, sort of, maybe. I think he might have mentioned it once or twice to me. And…um…a lot to Logan." Carlos admitted sheepishly.

"But Kendall isn't gay." James said.

"No he isn't."

"Then, then you're wrong. He can't love me. I'm a guy and I'm gay. And, well Kendall's a guy and he's not gay. A gay guy can not date a non gay guy." James said.

"Not true. There are bisexuals." Carlos said.

"So Kendall is bisexual?" James asked.

"No."

"So what's going on then?" James asked.

"Kendall isn't gay, or bi, but he loves you… a lot. That's really all there is to it." Carlos tried to explain.

"What Carlos is trying to say is that Kendall doesn't love girls and he doesn't love guys. Kendall loves you James. You and know one else in the world regardless of their gender or who society tells him he's suppose to love. It's just you for him. Does that about sum it up?" Aaron asked.

"Yeah, that pretty much covers it."

"I…I think I need to sit down." James said.

Aaron and Carlos helped James over to a sitting area.

"Well, my break is almost over. Do you have this covered Carlos?" Aaron asked.

"Yeah I should. He'll be fine, I hope." Carlos said.

"Don't worry about me. I just need to think, sort things through. I have to find where to go from here. I'll call you later, okay?" James said.

"Yeah, I'd like that. Talk to you guys later.

The both said there good byes and James took a deep calming breath.

"Okay, the only question now is, why did you really bring me here?"

BTGO

"I still don't understand." Logan said.

"Come on Logan, you're suppose to be the smart one. What aren't you getting?" Kendall said.

"Let me just start from the top. You know, run through things one more time so I can get what's going through your head. Okay?"

"Sounds like a great plan." Kendall said.

"You don't love James, right?" Logan said.

"Correct."

"Alright so you don't love James, but you're IN love with him."

"Yes, exactly!"

"But what's the difference?" Logan asked.

"What's the difference?" Kendall repeated. "There's a huge difference. The difference is so monumental that I don't even know where to begin. It's insane. You're insane for not getting it."

"Then explain it to me."

"Anyone can love things. I love pizza, hockey, that pinkish purplish way the sky looks at night. I love cheesy black and white movies, and singing a long with 90's music and my mom and my little sister. Hell, I love you and Carlos to, but."

"But." Logan said, urging him to continue.

"But I'm not in love with those things. I don't look ahead and picture my wedding and see pizza or black and white movies waiting for me at the alter. I don't want to start a family with 90's music." Kendall said.

"But you can see yourself doing all of that with James?" Logan said.

"And more! He's not just a part of my life. He is my life. All of it. It's hard to picture a moment of my future with him not there. I'm so in love with him it hurts, and that's why I'm afraid to tell him. He may like me now, but what about 5 years from now, or 20. Will he still love me then, because I'll never stop loving him. That's why I can't risk losing him." Kendall said.

"So that's it then. You're just going to give up? You'd rather spend the rest of your life assuming that James, the one who's always been with you no matter what, will leave you and so you never get to call him yours? You'd rather see him run off with some other guy that very well may hurt him then have him in your arms where you know he's safe?"

"You don't understand, Logan." Kendall said.

"I don't? Oh, I'm sorry. I may not have known that being 'in love' was a spacific term for it, but I know that feeling. Don't think that every day I wake up and see Carlos I'm not plague by that thought that he's going to realize that there are a million and one people out there better than me that he probably deserves."

"Logan don't say that about yourself."

"No, you know why? Because it's true. There are so many people out there better than me, but I don't give a flying fuck, because they're not getting him. Like you said Kendall, Carlos is my life. And I love him more than anything else. I don't know how long I'll get to have him and call him mine, but I don't care because I get him now. And if years from now we've both moved on to other people I can always look back and say that I poured my heart in soul into someone I care about. I'm not going to spend my life wondering why."

"Logan I-"

"What?" He snapped.

"You're right." Kendall said.

"I usually am." Logan said, trying to calm himself down.

There was a knock on the door. "Kendall, Carlos called. It's show time." Kelly said.

"Are you ready for this now?" Logan asked.

"Nope, but hell you only live once so let's do this."

BTGO(_yolo_)

"Carlos can I take this blind fold off?" James asked.

"Nope."

"But it's messing up my hair." James whined.

"Do you hear that." They both listened to the quite sound of nothing. "That is the sound of all the fucks I give about your hair."

"I hate you. Just…die." James said.

"Aw, that's not nice. Calm down, we're almost there. Ready?"

"Yes, I'm ready. What's this even about anyway?" Carlos took of the blind fold right as a band played a chord. "Huh?"

"Hey everybody! We're The Academy Is, and this is Kendall Knight." The lead singer spoke into the microphone.

"Oh my god. Carlos, Carlos do you know who that is?" James felt his chest tighten.

"Um, Kendall?"

"That's William Becket. William Becket and Kendall Knight, the two most perfect people in the entire history of the planet on stage together and why is Kendall wearing a shiney silver suit?" James said, coming down from fan boy mode.

"Hey everyone. Sorry about the glare. They wanted me to wear a full suit of armor and this was our compromise." The crowd, which consisted of everyone at the Palmwoods, and a few dozen people that Kendall didn't recognize chuckled quietly.

"I wrote a song and Gustavo invited this lovely band here to help me perform it. It's kind of a big deal, because you see. I wrote this song for someone who's," Kendall felt his words tighten up in his throat, he looked at Logan who gave him a supportive thumbs up. "Who's very special to me, and," then he caught sight of James.

James was standing in the back by the door that exits out into the pool from the main lobby. Kendall open his mouth but no words came out. James was standing their starry eyed looking at him. Not William Becket. Him, Kendall Knight. He didn't know why he should be so lucky, but he was going to do this. The right way.

He took a big breath for confidence. "I…I can't do this." He turned back to the band. "I'm sorry guys. I'll sing with you, but there's something I've go to do first."

"Go to him." William said.

Kendall hopped off the stage and began making his way through a very confused crowd.

"What are you doing Kendall?" Logan hissed.

"Something I should have done a very long time ago." Kendall waked up to James. "Hey."

"Hey." James replied.

"Would you like to take a walk? Just you and me?" Kendall asked.

"I, um."

"He'd love to." Carlos shoved James into Kendall causing them both to stumble a little.

Kendall grabbed James' hand and the two walked out a gate and started on their way.

Logan caught up just as the two were leaving.

"Kendall never really did enjoy the spotlight, did he." Logan said. He had to raise his voice a little because the band had started playing to keep the crowd from getting restless.

"Yeah, I suppose this was all just a little bit much for him." Carlos agreed.

"Hey Carlos." Logan said, suddenly very interested in his shoes.

"Yeah babe?"

"Carlos, I'm in love with you." Logan looked up to meet Carlos' eyes.

Carlos' face broke out into a grin. "I'm in love with you too." He scooped Logan up into his arms and the two kissed, the loud music and voices of the people all drowning out.

BTGO

"So, what was that all about? Stage fright?" James asked as the two walked down a quiet path in the park.

"Not quite. I just wanted to say something, but I couldn't find the words so I decided I was going to sing them, but then that didn't feel right either." Kendall said.

"So what are you going to do now?" James asked.

Kendall grabbed James other hand and looked at him. In all the years he had known James, he had never looked so beautiful then he did right now. "Show and tell." Kendall whispered. He leaned in hesitantly at first and pressed his lips against James'.

"Kiss him back you idiot!" James' brain screamed at him after he stood there frozen for a moment, so that was what he did. He didn't know how long they stood there, lips slowly moving against one another's in an innocent love filled kiss, but time didn't matter to either of them at the moment. This was where the slow rock love ballad would begin to play and they would stand there kissing until the screen faded to black and the credits, that lets face it, no one really read anyway, would begin to roll. But this, this was real life.

Kendall pulled back breathing heavily. "James Diamond, would you do me the honor of being your boyfriend?" Kendall asked.

"I would be the luckiest man alive to get that chance." James said. The two kissed again, holding each other tightly.

"We should get going. I believe you have a song to sing for me." James said with a smile.

"Anything you want." Kendall wrapped his arm around James' hip and they started back for home.

A/N: _So? There will probably be two more chapters after this. And while I'm not going to put sex in this story if wanted I'll make two companion one shots with smut. I'm really sorry it took so long. I'm hoping it was too your liking. Remember to hit me up on tumblr. I love you all!_


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